given to older folks can cause drowsiness. But, definitely ask the doctor when he goes.

Just one pill for high blood pressure and a very low dose.

He is asleep right now in fact and its 3:30 PM.

That is all he does it seems to me is sleep and snore.

My what a fun life!

This is sure getting old, as old as he is! *sigh*

He is really good at lying so you never know what the reality is until hell has about froze over.

Could be depression?

Usually elders sleep fewer hours, often up during night. Sleep a few hrs & up a few hours.

But, everyone is different.

Appetite & mental health ok?

Please keep us posted.

I'm running out of energy having to do everything around the house.

He doesn't seem capable of doing anything because he is asleep all of the time.

Tomorrow someone is coming over to work on the yard, something he used to enjoy doing. Now he says he doesn't care and doesn't give a sh*t about it.

That's real nice for him but it puts a huge load on me and my health is already shitty!

But if he's not feeling well physically, could have same effect.

So sorry you are going through this.

His brother and sister died recently. One was 87 and the other 85.

He has one sibling left. The other nine have all died.

I'm glad I came from a very small family as this is an ugly picture.

My dad was a real character who passed away 12 yrs ago, near age 89.

Each day, he would grab the newspaper, go immediately to obits & make hash marks on a running list he kept hanging on fridge of people he had known who had passed.

Not saying this is true of everyone, but I think loss has a tremendous impact.

Maybe you can help him by chatting about his most outstanding accomplishments.

In Eric Erickson's psych theory, people go through 8 stages, generally speaking. The last one is end of life review. If people are not content with what they have accomplished, they can become quite depressed.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK556096/

Perhaps doc can refer to tele mental health provider?

Just a thought.

As someone above pointed out, depression could be an issue, or any number of other problem.

Good luck at docs.

It is so loud I sleep in the other room with the DOOR CLOSED!

That is how LOUD it is!

Depression? I don't know. I just don't know!

Could be more than one issue contributing.

Could be a lot of things. As a caregiver in recent years to my (now deceased) mother, I urge you to also take care of YOU. Is there a local kid who could mow the lawn? I used to hire one for 10 bucks every 2 weeks, front yard only, but our lawn is relatively small. He was a middle schooler.

My health is shot to hell already!

Right now I have another infection (I have MS).

I'm on another round of antibiotics right now and trying to work until breaking a sweat is too much!

I found someone to come over that has a hefty lawn mower and an edger. Hopefully she'll be able to cut, trim, etc. in 2 hrs. or LESS I hope! She charges $20 an hr.

Seems no one wants to work for less than $15/hr. these days!

So stressful! So glad you are taking him to the doctor! Hope you see a doctor soon too and tell them about YOUR stress. In the meantime, remember the old adage about putting on your own oxygen mask first. I neglected myself during my caregiving years and I'm still paying the price. I encourage you to put yourself first, my friend--not being selfish or neglectful of him, but being caring and reasonable about your own "bandwidth" and what you can realistically handle.

which reduces the quality of sleep, hence more sleep time is required.

A lot of possible causes, but he may well need a thorough physical exam.

If you have any way of obtaining it, an accurate blood pressure (even from an over-the-counter digital wrist unit) and oxygen saturation (from one of those fingertip pulse oximeters--even an athletic grade model) could be very useful information to convey to the physician or other health care provider. You might find that you have neighbors with this equipment. They aren't hard to use.

Seriously ...

It was a total joke!

No blood work ordered, no nothing.

He then asked me if I had any health care directives for him. I replied, "Yes, I gave them to YOUR OFFICE several years ago!".

Seems they cannot find them so I had to mail them copies of the documents executed in 1998!

This "doctor" is from a doctor mill sort of place.

I am worried abt. his overall competency I must admit!

He knows I have MS and was shocked to learn this abt. me being I'm not in a wheelchair.

However, if I keep this up much longer, I am screwed!

I can't keep it up!

Like the mother grabbing the oxygen mask before putting it on her child.

It may well be that a PA or Nurse Practitioner would give you a more attentive consultation.

I'm part of our health care system, but I can NOT defend it in many many respects. I wish you the best. I truly do.

I told her about it. She advised me to give him MORE RESPONSIBILITY and to not cater to him.

Likely good advice but following it is another story.

I want my dinner!

He doesn't seem to give a shit about anything. That includes me.

I'm so sick of this B.S.

All he wants is his dinner. If there is no dinner he gets all P.O.'d at me.

I can only do SO MUCH!

I got him hearing aids last year and he won't wear them.

Same goes for the dentures.

On and on it goes.

I pay the bills and he snores away!

I am tired!

Would it be better if you were him?

Caretaker is the hardest job on earth. Hope you get some help through Social Services.
We used to think a church might help.

Do you have a local meals on wheels? Maybe there are volunteers to sit him while you get a break.

Maybe a neighbor might have him over a couple times a week. Even an hour for you would help.

Good luck.

I consider it practice for the big sleep.

The real problem is finding something new and interesting to do that is more satisfying than sleep.

Maybe he is bored, I don't know.

That said, there is plenty of work that needs to be done around here as he snores away.

I just paid someone $25 an hr. to work on the yard that he used to ENJOY maintaining.

I just don't know anymore that is for sure!

I guess I am not a satisfying enough person waiting on him hand and foot (literally!) to stay awake for! How sad!

I told him this last night. He was in the other room and wanted me to turn the volume up louder on the speakers on my desktop. I told him it hurt my ears and why can he not come into the same room and sit with me and listen? He then came into the room and ...

= me.

Perhaps you should talk to the doctor. Depression can make people lethargic. I know that the effects of the virus, being shut in, has made my depression worse. I have been finding it hard to do not only chores, but to participate in my hobbies. It is much easier to put my brain in neutral and binge watch TV.

Don't mistake "boredom" for a more serious problem.

My spouse, at a much younger age, became completely listless and disinterested in everything for periods of several months, then would almost literally rebound and we would then take off for trips for awhile, then the disinterest in life would set in again for months.

Everyone, including physicians, thought it was depression, and he took meds and saw a psychiatrist for several years; even had an electroshock session.

Long story short, he was eventually diagnosed with a vascular/brain disease called amyloidal angiopathy, for which there is no cure, and after many years in long-term care, died of the condition.
All very sad, as he was a good man.

Your husband is an aging human being, likely with conditions beyond his control.
Do what you can for yourself and your own condition, and try to remove judgement from his inaction and sleeping.

Because his sleep is unhelpful.

than he use to in the morning, he doesn’t sleep during the day.

Dear count all votes, I am seeing a lot of recent research on the benefits of a plant based diet on MS. If you google Dr McDougal and MS you’ll find some compelling results. There is also a movie called Code Blue about a woman Dr who struggled and progressively got worse with her MS until she started investigating nutrition.

💖💖💖💖💖

A CPAP is a wonderful thing; can give one back more of one's life.

There may be other underlying conditions as well, considering his age.

Is he eating and drinking normally? If not it could signal illness. I've also observed that when folks only are interested in sleeping and show little interest in eating, interacting with life as usual, they seem to be embracing the transition that comes after life. Can you get him interested in his favorite food? If not...could be the beginning of the end or illness.

In general, older folks do enjoy sleeping more than the rest of us, but if it's outside their normal pattern, something else is probably going on. Could be medication-related or illness.

I've got to take him to see the doctor tomorrow as he has a swollen/painful ankle.

This has been going on for a month now.

I think it is arthritis as they've xrayed it in the past.

Hopefully, I'll know more soon.

Thank you for your tips and ideas.

I'll let everyone know how it goes after tomorrow!

Thanks again!!

Firstly, thanks to all that replied to my post.

I took him to his doctor yesterday. However, I did not go in with him as there is a COVID-19 outbreak close by right now and I'm not supposed to be out AT ALL myself due to the MS I have.

Anyway, he went in and the doctor looked at his ankle and told him that he needs to wear the compression socks whether he likes them or not and that he needs to be walking. The doctor said this is due to thining of the veins as one ages and that is why his ankle is swollen up. It is not a huge swelling, only abt. 1" bigger than the other foot. It seems the doctor was quite annoyed that he was there!

That was abt. the end of the visit. I did slip them a note when we first got there mentioning the sleeping/snoring, etc. These issues were not addressed at all.

The doctor gave him nothing at all for the pain.

After that I went to the store, bought him more compression socks, groceries and brought him home. I was in bed asleep for 12 hrs. myself as I was exhausted from all of this and he is in bed right now snoring away!

That is sort of the end of the story. I seriously wish I had a whole lot more to report believe me!

Thanks again everyone.