the being out at night...or trusting someone will not rape you..there are many factors that can blame a woman/man for being raped.

In the wrong place at the wrong time...as if time and place has something to do with a predator raping a woman/man

Coping skills vary from person to person. Some people really don't feel emotionally able to cope with publicizing their story.

I do think that those who have felt able to come forward publicly have helped change the landscape a lot with regards to how victims are viewed, and have helped remove a lot of the stigma.

I'm with you: it wasn't my choice, it wasn't my fault and I have no guilt or shame about it.

I agree that part of getting to the point where rape and sexual assault are no longer perceived as shameful, everyone needs to be aware that they actually do know people who are survivors of rape or sexual assault.

But no survivor should be forced to bear the brunt of changing that perception, which is what outing a survivor (by publishing his or her name) does.

So I am live what I believe is the ideal, and encourage others to do so - but I will also strongly defend the right of any survivor who chooses not to disclose her identity.

The victim may have family members who will be overprotective, or remind them of it, not understanding the healing that has to occur.
I didn't want to talk to certain people about my rape, so it was important that they not know.
And mine was a home invasion rape. But I'm sure someone would have found a way to blame me for having the nerve to live alone or something.

No. I did nothing wrong.
But from the age of nine I was the one to blame for an act that I was unable to stop.

Absolutely! You did NOTHING wrong.

In my mind I've always known that.
It's the damage to my self esteem that needs repair regularly by me.
I was 50 before I stopped hating my mother. Mother's Day hurts me again every year.
I've been through too much with too little support.
I cannot let that happen to anyone else.
To condone the behavior of rape culture and slut shaming is to support it.
This must stop! Now!

No victim did anything wrong. But that doesn't mean they're comfortable having everything about what happened to them exposed to the public -- or to anyone. For some women, just opening up to a therapist is a huge step. Telling a loved one is another huge step, and might be as far as they can go.

So some women need the protection of anonymity. I'm glad they can have it, and can choose not to prosecute. Otherwise, forcing them to come forward would be another kind of assault.

I'm very happy for you. But we've had an assault victim in our home for more than two years and she's still not ready to come forward, despite therapy. And she may never be. Years of abuse at the hands of someone you trusted isn't something easy to get over.

I felt less alone the first time I heard someone else talk about what they went through , it helped me separate the past from the present .