12 Truths That Will Bring Peace When You Deal with Difficult People

https://bemorewithless.com/difficult-people/


'Sometimes we need to be reminded to actually practice the little habits that allow us to better understand and nurture the right bonds, or let go of the wrong ones. We need to be reminded to be selective in our battles, too. Oftentimes peace and love in our lives and relationships are both better than being right. We simply don’t need to attend every argument we’re invited to.'

My words: The list is excellent and I hope you all take a look at it. Part of why I'm posting here is that I had a kind of epiphany recently. The details don't really matter because the truth is that with difficult people, it isn't about you, it's about them. I had occasion to be in a temporary living situation with a family member who decided that he resented my presence for mysterious reasons of his own. As a result of this resentment, he began to ignore me whenever possible and to make snarky remarks to me in front of other members of the family. It was part passive/aggressive and part outright false statements that revealed his resentment of my being there. I was locked-in to this situation, at least for a short time, mostly because I didn't want to cause a huge family uproar about it. So, how did I handle it and what was the outcome?

First, the practical actions I took: While I remained living in this household, I ignored him as much a possible. I remained polite. I continued to contribute both financially and with chores. I didn't discuss this with the other members. It was impossible for them not to know, so if they wanted to address it, they would have. Although, occasionally they would point out this person's erroneous statements.

Second, the epiphany or I should say 'the decision': That didn't happen until I was able to get into my own space and decompress a bit. That's when the epiphany hit. It was quite simple, really. Even though this person was part of my family and I would need to interact with him, I didn't need to be invested in him emotionally. I made a decision that I just didn't give a damn one way or the other. It sounds easy, but actually I'm pretty damn old to be learning this lesson. In plain English, when you aren't emotionally invested, you actually don't give a shit what someone thinks or says or does.

I highly recommend it. It's a life changing realization. You see, I'm never going to change him and neither is anyone else. That is something he must do for himself. And, so far he hasn't made that decision.