We all look for patterns when we’re trying to understand a societal problem such as violence. Violence is a horrific and pervasive issue. From police brutality against Sandra Bland and Michael Brown to the theater shooting in Aurora, to the recent Charleston Church shooting that killed 9 women and men, it is clear that violence permeates our culture. And the devastating Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting that left 26 people, mostly children, dead, is yet another terrifying example of violence’s far reaching grasp. We seek patterns so we can put a stop to the terror.

What if I told you there already is a very specific pattern in all this violence? One thing that nearly all cases of theater shootings, school shootings, beatings, homicides and misuse of police force has one thing in common: Men are the ones committing these acts. I want to be clear though, men are not the problem. The problem is the hyper-masculinized society which is and has been, associated with violence. Equating masculinity with violence is not only harmful to women, it is harmful to other men too and everyone else. Why are we as a society not talking about this? As Jackson Katz, author and film creator, has pointed out,

“Imagine if only women committed mass shootings. Would gender be off the table to discuss, or would it be the central argument? If 98 percent of school shootings and rampage killings were done by women, would we not look into that? Or would we just say ‘Well, it’s obvious.’ That’s what a lot of people say about masculinity and shootings —‘Why do we need to talk about it? Everybody knows it’s men.’ It’s frustrating: Over and over again you hear these analyses that there are no characteristics connecting these shooters, or ‘we’re looking for patterns in these behaviors.’ When women commit violence, gender is almost always the first thing we talk about, like the idea of ‘girl gangs.’ When boys do it, we talk about other factors related to street gangs, like poverty, unemployment, or lack of opportunities, racism, drugs, and alcohol. All of those factors are important but not as central as gender: According to the U.S. Department of Justice, over 90 percent of homicide is committed by men. You’ll see a spectrum of data across economics, race, and alcohol or drug problems, but non of those factors are anywhere near 90 percent.” (1.)

90 percent. That is insane. And yet it is not being discussed. If feminists speak up about male violence, they run the risk of being called “man-haters.” And if men speak up, they run the risk of being labeled “pansies” or worse. But we’ve got to speak up and be heard.