Hey now. What does George P. Bush have to do with this???

but, seriously ...

Now I am thinking this crap was badly written just to cover up how disgusting it really is.

They are not equals. They are not partners. There is, in fact, no ‘they’ to speak of at all.

Rather, it’s a movie about a narcissistic man’s controlling and violent sexual desires and his sense of entitlement to use and abuse a vulnerable young woman’s body and mind as tools for his own gratification. It’s all about his needs, coupled with the arrogant expectation that she should comply, regardless of her discomfort, to please him.

I sat in the theatre and looked around me at hundreds of women, buying into this so-called ‘sexy love story’ and I felt sick. If an entire theatre of women three times your age couldn’t see how damaging this plot line is, how on earth are teenage girls and boys supposed to?

Please, my daughters, don’t allow this romanticizing of sexual domestic abuse fool you into believing that you should ever allow yourself to be treated like Anastasia Steele. Please, my son, don’t watch this one day and believe that it’s ever okay to intimidate, manipulate or disrespect a woman like the ‘hero,’ Christian Grey. Nobody, male or female, wants or deserves to be disrespected, manipulated or violated against his or her wishes.

Thanks for posting Tuesday. I have seen enough disrespect for women in my life. I sure as hell don't need to see this.

especially the bolder portions.

It is one thing for jaded, sophisticated, cosmopolitan Adults to watch this film.

Entirely different when viewed through the eyes of younger people who are still learning boundaries and when/where/how to draw a line on your own autonomy.

it is tantamount for permission to proceed with no boundaries.

the BDSM practitioners are not happy with the movie, either.

statement.
I read an article online.
An interview with the director

Apparently, the ending of the film is the girl using her safe word for the first time after it goes too far for her.

At least it was supposed to be the safe word but the author, who is a producer, and the studio wanted it to be the word stop not the safe word of red apparently and the author won. The director was not happy but she has a great deal and a lot of power in the process.
That's all I know.
I read the short article because I like Hollywood power struggles.

Thanks for your post.

….or seen it but this description gives me everything about it I need to know.

Thanks.

are the same ones who get their self-esteem from their purses and shoes

Last edited Mon Feb 16, 2015, 02:53 PM - Edit history (1)

they were all pretty much shallow, stupid, vapid, vain women.

I tried to get along with these co-workers and so, I picked up the first book and tried to read it, just so I would have something in common with these women. I tried. Really, I did. But, the writing is so dismally horrible and these characters are so one dimensional that I just did not care to turn the page.

I did not make it past the third chapter, much less the third book.

I could not believe it was from a real book that was actually POPULAR. Gawd.

You have confirmed my worst fears of this book and film (neither of which I want anything to do with)

She thought it was hilariously stupid. This is the young women who sat in a strip club to check it out and said "I didn't realize they were so dirty" I never asked her which sense of the word she meant, but it grossed her out.

She's also the kid that made me watch "Twilight" and spent about a half an hour apologizing because the movie was so bad--she could see the pain in my face.

I love that girl.

best nap ever

I love thinking that your daughter was in a Strip Club checking out the floors

He thought I should give up my good paying union job to strip. "You'll make more in a night here, than you do in a week." Yeah right, they have such great benefits & working conditions. Anyway, it was filthy. I ordered a beer instead of a cocktail, cuz I didn't want a glass.

Maybe not all strip joints are dirty, but I've watched enough "Restaurant Impossible" & "Bar Rescue" to believe dirty is the norm, not the exception.

You've got a great daughter!

Since I haven't read/seen it, I haven't commented.

Thanks for this. I think I'll send it her way.

you might want to also, send her the other letter I posted, from a Psychiatrist. It did not get the recs this one got but, I think it is every bit as informative if not as passionate as this one.

I'll check it out.

Three women were rescued Monday afternoon from a home in Cleveland. Amanda Berry, Gina DeJesus and Michelle Knight all went missing roughly 10 years ago, when Berry was 16, DeJesus 14 and Knight was 20. All three are alive, talking, and apparently in good health, according to police.

The three were rescued by a neighbor, Charles Ramsey.

“I heard screaming… And I see this girl going nuts trying to get outside,” Ramsey said. “I go on the porch and she said ‘Help me get out. I’ve been here a long time.’ I figure it was domestic violence dispute."

“She comes out with a little girl and says ‘Call 911, my name is Amanda Berry’… When she told me, it didn’t register."

more at link:
http://gawker.com/3-women-missing-for-10-years-rescued-from-cleveland-hom-493221621

Not being "hip" I had only seen the title. Now I know why to stay away.

--imm

the first book and could not make it past the third chapter.

Curiosity usually gets the better of me, in this type of thing.

I *just* have to know what is all the hooplah.

What is referred to in fandom circles as smut fic and PWP (plot what plot). The author changed about 20% of the fic so it no longer could be called plagiarism and published it.

There is literally no deeper meaning behind this. It is a smutty take on the twilight characters getting it on full stop. And like much fanfiction the content is highly dubious.

I'm honestly surprised it has the following it does, it's complete crap and when viewed outside the fanfiction lens sets women back 50 years.

I just took out the good old "Story of O" and reread that. It's still bad, but light years above shades.

Thing is I like erotic literature/stories. I just don't like crap,how this became a phenomenon escapes me, from the excerpts I've read.

I'm putting it down to women who are having bad sex and don't know how to say "I like it this way"--guys get so much shit info from porn I think we're a nation of sexual miscommunication on the hetero side anyway.

Young women with low self-esteem, young men with no respect towards women. It really seems like it's gotten worse with the spring breaks and internet, I feel like young men have less respect towards women these days than when I was in my twenties.

It is pure fantasy.

This

By the end of book three of the trilogy:

Ana's love has transformed Christian and cured him of all his hangups and his need for dominant sex. She has turned him into the perfect husband and father (yes, they are happily married one child and another on the way and living in the country estate they bought and remodeled together.)

The college roommate is happily married with children to Christian's brother. The brother of the roommate is dating Christian's sister. And if that's not enough mushy stuff, Christian's long time butler and long time housekeeper are also married with children and also living happily ever after.

In other words, a formulaic Harlequin romance with the perfect happy ending for everyone, but one where the flaw in the man that the woman must fix is his obsession with BSDM, and his secretive ways. And, like any typical romance novel, she does fix him, and repair all his flaws where his psychiatrist was not able to help. He ends loving, compassionate, a good listener, an equal partner in a give-and-take relationship. In other words, a romantic fantasy come true.

The quality of writing is poor, but no worse than the typical romance novel. The whole BSDM angle is just a gimmick to boost sales. It worked.

The "saved by the love of a good woman" trope. Blech.

It comprises a very prevalent type of female fantasy, which I don't understand, but we must all acknowledge as legitimate.

It has nothing to do with "patriarchy". It has to do craving for a certain type of sexual power dynamic.

And it's not your thing. Or mine, for that matter.

But to each their own. No skin off your nose. -- which is, by the way, what I say to people who are disgusted at the thought of gay sex.

- C.D. Proud Member of the Reality Based Community

Best revisit a bit of historic and gendered sexuality

What makes you think homosexuality is not influenced/caused-by feminism? Or patriarchy? Or whatever?
See how absurd that question sounds?

And even if I accepted the absurd belief that what turns someone on can be taught (next thing you'll be telling me you believe in gay conversion therapy), that doesn't make their preferences illegitimate.

What turns these women on, and what they choose to do in their bedrooms, is 1) no skin off your nose, and 2) none of your f--king business.

Try not to be a Dana Carvey-esque "church lady".

- C.D. Proud Member of the Reality Based Community

when we're discussing issues from a feminist perspective. Think you can manage that?

you church lady comment was merely sniping at the poster and had absolutely no relevance to what she said. shameful. as sheldon said, if you cannot be civil in this group then do not post in this group.

Are you seriously comparing homosexuality to a 50SOG fantasy? That's fucked up. Not reality based at all.

You indicated that fantasy arose from a vacuum. I responded for you to do some reality-based exploration of sexual history.

And I'll fucking discuss what I fucking want to in a group designed for such topics, using reality based discussion and debate.

And who the fuck is this church lady-a made up character? Not very reality-based.

All the reality-based skin remains on my nose. Who even says that anymore?

I'm not, nor do I want to be a feminist recruiter. No one was criticizing fantasies, Mr. Reality.

Your reality-based approach has completely ignored the OP, most of the comments, and apparently you've decided what women's fantasies are based on one book. Seriously, You are your own worst enemy, since I'm assuming you want to make sense

But, carry on I guess

you want to sound smart, then educate yourself in facts and history.

it will continue to be only a small percentage that actively call themselves feminists. i bet the number is higher than ever before since its conception.

and have been disrespectful and boorish.

I vote for you to be blocked from further disrupting this group. Hopefully the group hosts will come along and recognize your insensitivity and inappropriateness and make it so.

With no point at all.

safely assume that it has has significant influence on just about everything, but particularly things related to male-female relationships and sexuality in general.

You want to talk absurdity? Denying that one's sexual preferences, including kinks, within one's sexual orientation can be taught is one of the most absurd things I've ever heard. Not in the least reality-based.

Most things are learned and what is learned is overwhelmingly influenced by the society in which one lives. And most things about the society in which we live have come down to us though the system of patriarchy. That's the reality.

Questioning whether what we've been taught to enjoy is ultimately positive for us as women and for humanity in general, is not a "Church Lady" thing.

And here is an extremely insightful article that addresses that in relation to 50 Shades.

Women. Got it.

Feminists. Got it.

I will keep asking you what EXACTLY you are conservative about, these posts tell alot.

Feminists are a CONcern to you. That is your CONservative reality.

Disgusting.

that people like me do not watch modern movies.

And women think if I love him enough, he'll change. I've been there, done that, and gotten the divorce, because NOBODY TOLD ME TO STAND UP TO ABUSIVE MEN.

BDSM is supposed to be consensual, not about the man power-tripping the woman and controlling her. "Safe, Sane and Consensual" is what the BDSM community keeps repeating. And these people are reinforcing abuse and calling it BDSM.

Won't be watching the movie. The analysis in the letter from that mom covered some very important points, especially the possessiveness and controlling behaviors.

During my freshman and sophomore years of college, I dated a very possessive young man who wanted to control every aspect of my life. He was actually my high school boyfriend, and I made the mistake of deciding to go to the same college he picked. The possessiveness did not manifest itself until we were away from home. He wasn't physically abusive, but he always thought he knew best, was dismissive of my thoughts and ideas, and always couched his decisions in terms of being concerned for me. He wanted us to get secretly married. Fortunately, I finally wised up and got the hell out, and transferred to another school for my remaining 2 years.

He married one of my roommates, and they divorced a few years later. I often wondered if he treated her the same way, and if that is what lead to the divorce.

Last edited Sat Feb 21, 2015, 10:25 PM - Edit history (1)

The only thing that (slightly) troubles me about the article, is that it presupposes the inability to distinguish fantasy from reality. If people really take serious life/love advice from Hollywood movies, then I have to say the human race is even more hopeless than I thought.

I assume Adults know and understand what it is they are watching. Their opinions have already been fully formed.

This is directed to those who are still forming what boundaries they will establish.

on human intelligence (or lack thereof).

How low can we go.