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Gore1FL

(21,990 posts)
Wed Feb 15, 2023, 06:32 PM Feb 2023

So... After a long while, I decided to break-free of my go-it-alone lifestyle.

I've been noticing someone for a while (years) and for whatever reason, today I took action. I told her that I thought she was really pretty and her smile made me melt. I then said I wanted to buy her a drink.

She responded, "I'm married."

I apologized for any discomfort I caused and we went our separate ways. I hope she was flattered, at least.

Honestly, I don't know if I was more afraid of that (or any other "no" ) or her saying "yes."

So yeah, I'm a little disappointed, but I'm back to the weed, PC-gaming, and dog-loving until the next aberration. Additionally, I don't have to clean the house!


¯_(ツ _/¯

17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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So... After a long while, I decided to break-free of my go-it-alone lifestyle. (Original Post) Gore1FL Feb 2023 OP
Sweet story. cilla4progress Feb 2023 #1
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Consider it a trial run. littlemissmartypants Feb 2023 #2
Look at the ring finger before your next excursion!!! Karadeniz Feb 2023 #3
Oh hon gay texan Feb 2023 #4
Might wanna try a different approach 🤭 Deuxcents Feb 2023 #5
Boomhauer will get your game goin': ret5hd Feb 2023 #6
I think you did a great job reaching out, and asking for a date. Irish_Dem Feb 2023 #7
Thanks. Gore1FL Feb 2023 #10
Thank you. Most excellent. Irish_Dem Feb 2023 #12
The Traveling Wilburys were one of the best. peacebuzzard Sep 2023 #17
oh god clean the house? dembotoz Feb 2023 #8
Well Done! You're miles ahead of me. IA8IT Feb 2023 #9
I wasn't yesterday, though. Gore1FL Feb 2023 #11
I never take the first step ever. My happily ever after died seven years ago. Now I'm defensive IA8IT Feb 2023 #13
I remember i made someone's day when i asked them out Tetrachloride Feb 2023 #14
Update: I saw her for the first time in 6ish months this week. Gore1FL Sep 2023 #15
This thread is hilarious. peacebuzzard Sep 2023 #16

littlemissmartypants

(25,890 posts)
2. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Consider it a trial run.
Wed Feb 15, 2023, 06:42 PM
Feb 2023

Your person is out there somewhere. Don't give up! ❤️

Irish_Dem

(59,687 posts)
7. I think you did a great job reaching out, and asking for a date.
Wed Feb 15, 2023, 08:14 PM
Feb 2023

I think the approach was good.

You have a right to ask, the person has a right to say no.

The point is you asked. Half of getting what you want in life is by asking.

Gore1FL

(21,990 posts)
10. Thanks.
Wed Feb 15, 2023, 10:29 PM
Feb 2023

I think if my approach was good it was because it was genuine.

It's rare I run across someone that repeatedly catches my eye so much that I am both willing to make time for them and have the nerve to talk to them. When those stars align and I can get enough oxygen to my brain to spit out two bumbling sentences, the sincerity comes through.

I've come to realize, far more recently than I should have, that all I ever wanted for the women I've ever had feelings for during my life is to be happy. The ones that I know about are. There is a song by Cass Elliot, "Make your own Kind of Music" that has a lyric, "And if you cannot take my hand. And if you must be going I will understand." There is another song by the Traveling Wilburys, "End of the Line" where Tom Petty's last verse is "It don't matter what kind of car I drive. I'm just glad to be here; happy to be alive. And It don't matter if you're by my side. I'm satisfied." They kind of summarize (guide, maybe) how I approach this now.

I stop here as I really didn't intend to write a lengthy post. I'll link the referenced songs below, if you are interested.






Irish_Dem

(59,687 posts)
12. Thank you. Most excellent.
Thu Feb 16, 2023, 08:54 AM
Feb 2023

I am very impressed with how you are handling this situation.
You made a lovely offer to a woman, asking for a date.

And then instead of getting wrapped around the axle about her saying no,
you realized you just want her to be happy. This shows a great deal of maturity.

The songs are great.

peacebuzzard

(5,300 posts)
17. The Traveling Wilburys were one of the best.
Thu Sep 21, 2023, 08:00 AM
Sep 2023

Last edited Thu Sep 21, 2023, 09:20 AM - Edit history (1)

So many powerful musicians in one place. Thanks for posting this Gore1FL.

 

dembotoz

(16,922 posts)
8. oh god clean the house?
Wed Feb 15, 2023, 08:20 PM
Feb 2023

reason enough to stay by myself right there.

congrats on trying.....it is way more than i have done

Gore1FL

(21,990 posts)
11. I wasn't yesterday, though.
Wed Feb 15, 2023, 10:43 PM
Feb 2023

I owned today's failure in a DU post and got praise, advice, and encouragement.

I'm not saying I'll do it again soon. My best shots are usually "misses." My "hits" resulted in decades of emotional and financial distress. Most times I agree with the computer in the movie War Games, “The only winning move is not to play.”

IA8IT

(5,926 posts)
13. I never take the first step ever. My happily ever after died seven years ago. Now I'm defensive
Thu Feb 16, 2023, 10:53 AM
Feb 2023

and very slow to allow others into my life. One I let in had a war game with her sister in my house. "Not to Play" lesson learned that day. At 70 my happily ever after wouldn't be that long but I'd like one anyway. Hope any future best shots have some happy hits.

Gore1FL

(21,990 posts)
15. Update: I saw her for the first time in 6ish months this week.
Sat Sep 2, 2023, 08:50 PM
Sep 2023

It was weirdly not awkward.

I still don't have to clean the house, and I bought a PS5 with the money I saved by not dating!

peacebuzzard

(5,300 posts)
16. This thread is hilarious.
Thu Sep 21, 2023, 07:54 AM
Sep 2023

thanks for the chuckles.
If know you will find a friend one day, keep us posted on the adventures, Gore1FL!

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