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Got my first settlement check today! (Original Post) maddezmom Jan 2012 OP
CONGRATS, maddez! elleng Jan 2012 #1
deposited mine today maddezmom Jan 2012 #2
That really is detailed! elleng Jan 2012 #3
as you should maddezmom Jan 2012 #4
He has NO REASON to drag it out, elleng Jan 2012 #5
good on you maddezmom Jan 2012 #6
Yes, I think its control too, elleng Jan 2012 #7
I'm sorry maddezmom Jan 2012 #8
Lucky you didn't follow it! elleng Jan 2012 #9
So very glad to hear this. SheilaT Feb 2012 #10

elleng

(136,825 posts)
1. CONGRATS, maddez!
Thu Jan 26, 2012, 01:11 AM
Jan 2012

PLAY PLAY PLAY!!! AND life begins!

Mine took LONG time for bank to clear, something like 10 days; holiday intervened. Wasn't thrilled about the wait, but was thrilled about receipt!

Awaiting my 2d; supposed to have been mailed Monday.

maddezmom

(135,060 posts)
2. deposited mine today
Thu Jan 26, 2012, 09:48 PM
Jan 2012

and set up a few accounts to use later but it won't clear entirely until 2/2. Had to laugh as they allowed me a small pittance and I mean small...today because I'm such a great customer. Then about 3% will be released at 5 pm on Monday and the balance on Thursday at 9am. I have never seen such a detailed deposit slip in my life(actually it was 2).

elleng

(136,825 posts)
3. That really is detailed!
Thu Jan 26, 2012, 10:02 PM
Jan 2012

May have received the 'usual' $100 initially, , 6% the following day, the remainder only after 10 business days (which was lengthened due to holidays.)

P.S., didn't receive next 25% today, which he said would be mailed 'Monday,' today's THURSDAY!, judge ordered full 50% owing must be in January, and if he's not a good boy and I don't receive anything earlier, will 'happily' go back for a Contempt Citation after Jan. 31.

maddezmom

(135,060 posts)
4. as you should
Thu Jan 26, 2012, 10:18 PM
Jan 2012

I'm sure it stinks to be in the position of having to go to court to make him do what he already agreed to earlier but I would to it. Why drag this crap out?

elleng

(136,825 posts)
5. He has NO REASON to drag it out,
Thu Jan 26, 2012, 10:33 PM
Jan 2012

and if I do have to go back into court, I'll do so happily, that is, I'll seek sanctions including whatever I can get. Certainly could use something to defray attorney's fees.

We discussed, with the Judge, the language we should use in the Order, and we agreed to use the language which leads to Contempt of he fails to do what he was ordered (and we had agreed.) Must say, I'm kind of excited about this. (And I have 50% in the bank, discussing where to invest with a financial advisor, so, as I've said, I've done some 'celebrating!')

maddezmom

(135,060 posts)
6. good on you
Thu Jan 26, 2012, 10:41 PM
Jan 2012

seems like just another way of trying to be in control to me. Hopefully, if he continues this route he'll have to pay the consequences.

elleng

(136,825 posts)
7. Yes, I think its control too,
Thu Jan 26, 2012, 10:47 PM
Jan 2012

and he damn well sure should pay the consequences; his 'control' has cost me A LOT!

maddezmom

(135,060 posts)
8. I'm sorry
Thu Jan 26, 2012, 10:51 PM
Jan 2012

I wasn't following your story in the old DU because I wasn't going through it then. But I'll bet you will recoup the monetary loss with your new freedom to be you and what you were meant to be.

elleng

(136,825 posts)
9. Lucky you didn't follow it!
Thu Jan 26, 2012, 11:02 PM
Jan 2012

Its lasted YEARS, never should have been litigated. You nailed it tonight: CONTROL! I've said it repeatedly, control by a sociopath.
Was depressed for years, and that's gone now, there's a lot of $ I've lost/forfeited, but I do feel good.

 

SheilaT

(23,156 posts)
10. So very glad to hear this.
Wed Feb 1, 2012, 12:36 AM
Feb 2012

Interestingly enough, I've had a lot of women say to me that because they were eager to end the marriage, they agreed to less than they should have. In my case, because I gave him time I should not have agreed to, I wound up with less than I should have. But I did okay, and I have a new life now.

And that's my wish to everyone who might visit this forum: Start a new life. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it's the unknown. But do it.

Lately I've been saying that in my most optimistic fantasies that my marriage had not ended, I'd never have persuaded him to move to Santa Fe, where I now live. And I have a very good life here. New friends, a job that suits me, time to myself.

It can take a very long time, longer than you want it to, but eventually you get through it.

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