crunch the numbers with an experienced financial analyst, PLEASE! S/he should have options you haven't considered.

PLEASE!
And know we're with you.

;grouphug;

i know no mater what i will get by. the big things is that i fear a meltdown in his future. i would rather take the money and say goodbye.
unfortunately, he racked up a huge debt in the last 2 years. we were nearly debt free. then we bought a 2 flat, and dumped a ton into it. now both properties have mortgages. opps. debts. forgot about that side of the ledger sheet, as it has been pretty clean for a long, long time. plus he insisted that they would be paid off in any settlement.
talk about your oh shit moments.

and in the end, that is what it is about. autonomy, or continued dependence. each has its own set of assets and risks. and like i said, i fear he is drinking more, which is not good. he is depressed, imho, or worse. and i wouldnt put it past him to take a dive just for spite.
i must admit, tho, that he is likely only going to fail up. he is already at the level where they never fire anyone. and psychos are richly rewarded. they would prolly give him a huge pity bump on his next review if he was splittin those checks w me.

number crunching is the order of my day, tho.
i do know someone good to call. imma do a little crunch on my own first.
ugh.

and btw, it is cold and raining here today. my farm looks like a bomb went off. the fat raspberry crop that was just starting to come in is dead. i was just starting to get tomatoes, and now they will shut down. hopefully we get a little sun soon, and i can at least salvage what is on the vine. man.
and another- youngest daughter has been sick all her life. she finally found an autonomic specialist who seems to have his finger on the problem. he thinks it is genetic. which prolly means no healthy biological grandkids for me, at least not without a lot of high tech help. other daughter has had a lot of issues as well. eesh. so glad for her to have answers. and she long since decided she should not reproduce. but damn. smack.
what a day. i knew i shoulda just gone back to bed this morning.

only some of which I also experienced.

Of course crunch your own numbers, but speak with a creative financial adviser who might have ideas you haven't thought of.

Sorry about your weather; we've been very fortunate. Landlord/neighbor has shared tomatoes, peppers + eggplants with me, more than I can eat, and even tho I was away from cottage for a few days, my roses seem to be doing well.

Thinking of you.