I haven’t done that with mine yet (he’s 7 yrs older than me). On both parents death beds, it was “take care of your brother”. He took advantage of my mom having her sign checks to him that she could not see clearly, not paying back loans, and getting mixed up with a bunch of needy grifters. I have a small stash of cash like $150 that I call “The bank of brother” that I loan out to him - no more loans until he pays that back. I just keep recycling it. Otherwise he’d be hitting me up every month or so for a new handout. He’s retired from a govt job, gets a decent pension (tied to the Senate retirement program), has insurance and a drug plan. He doesn’t make a lot, but what he makes is pretty darned close to what his salary was when he was working. He gives his money to people he thinks are his friends.

Both my hubby and kids know about the stash, so if I’m not around, the rules are the same.

We haven’t done funeral planning or wills yet. Probably should sooner than later.

Not a bank, so I have my own rules. Collateral. Want a $100 give me anything I can sell for $200. No takers so far.

But the prices varied from $1000 to $2500, so maybe look around now.

I wondered how all of the relatives who relied on them would get along. So far, so good. I do loan money, but if someone asks, they have to pay it back, or they won't get more. Sometimes, I make it a gift, depends if I got a windfall

It is a good idea to pre-pay, and have your wishes laid out.

After your appointment, do something nice for yourself

Settling estates can bring the worst out in families! Continue on, doing the right thing and protect yourself from the trouble makers. Don’t let them dent you. Self care and more self care in these difficult times! Love to you. 💗💗💗🙏🏼

I prepaid for my Mother and saved $400 (10 years ago).

It was abt. $1600 for the two of us.

I had to use it last year and and I was so glad it was pre-paid. It was still there despite what my ugly brother had to say about it (you are wasting your money ...).

Especially the updating your will part. It makes things a lot easier for those left behind.

He's of the same ilk.

I almost called him to let him know how sick I am from the accident I was in a few weeks ago.

I stopped before I did it and remembered what he said to me after I almost died and had five blood transfusions. It was so very ugly.

That memory from 2009 is burned into my brain and it stopped me from contacting him and his tRUMPer family.

I don't blame you one bit and don't forget about the things that made you feel the way you do, esp. if it was very ugly. Ugly never goes away I've noticed.

I did all my stuff 10 years ago but I have had to amend it a bit since after my dad died when my mom and sister threw everything he had away within about 2 weeks. I knew they were the "cold" ones in the family and I am the emotional, sentimental one but that was what made me be even more realistic. I am lucky that a friend of mine has agreed to go through all my stuff herself within her own time frame and no interference from my family. She can sell, give away or throw out my stuff as she decides. My family knows this and is grateful.