I sometimes think that people are forced to endure ordeals way beyond our capacity to cope.

She was in a coma (cancer) at age 80.
About 20 minutes before she died she opened her eyes straight ahead- not at me - and smiled so big I'm like what does she see as she had been so miserable for days- this was a complete reversal.
She was so delighted with whatever she saw I ran downstairs to tell my SIL (mom was in home hospice) and we both ran back up stairs and she was already gone.

It was a sunny Sunday at 3:30 PM and my brothers were at the funeral directors selecting her coffin. We called them there and they raced back home. Then we called the funeral director and they came and got her and we watched them carry her down the stairs and into their very discreet station wagon.

Never forgot that moment but the only good things about it were she wasn't suffering anymore and she died at home and not in a hospital which is what she wanted.

Sorry for your sad loss!

Why it is that the good people have to suffer so much

When my mother died, I reflected on those special moments, like hugs, and held them close. They are still there.

My very best to you. I hope you can cherish the wonderful memories of her to ease the pain.

Our mother's death is one of the worst we will face. My deepest condolences.

So sorry for your tremendous loss.

Please be gentle with yourself & know that there is no timeline for resolving grief & the stages of grief are not linear.

Grieving is hard work physically, emotionally, & psychologically.

Please remember to eat healthy foods, sleep, & deep breathe to help you stay grounded & centered.

Please contact a hospice for bereavement therapy. They usually provide 13 mos of free counseling to support you through the "year of firsts" (birthdays, anniversaries, hidays, etc.).

I'm here for you, my friend.

🕯

As time goes on, you can relish all the wonderful memories of her, that will keep her alive in your heart.

There are no words. I'm sorry.

Find ways to be kind to yourself. I hope you find some peace.

in my heart!!

I am sorry and know how it feels. Hugs from me.

Each of us can say, "My mom's better than your mom ...." and mean it with all our souls because we each have our own experience. It doesn't make it any less painful when the time arrives. Hang in there, and reflect on the most enduring moments you can muster.

When a friend of mine’s father died she decided to get counseling as the circumstances of his death were terrible. She went through 2 psychologists before finding the right match.

She said the counselor told her something that stuck with her:

People who don’t really know you may give you 2 weeks.
People who do know you may give you 2 months.

But it will likely take you 2 years or more to get through all the stages of grief.

Hang in there!

It’s a terrible loss. A big virtual hug from me!

Mother's Day was BRUTAL.

I hope you have family to share your grief with and can find strength and peace at this heartbreaking time. She'll always be with you but of course it's not the same as being able to talk to her, share with her and hug her. If you can be with family, do.

Her love will always be within you.

so terribly sorry for this pain in your life; it is so hard to never see your mom again😿💔
so sorry,

Condolences, littlemisssmartypants.

My mom died 11 years ago and there's not a single day I don't think of her. The intensely sharp pain has mellowed with time but the ache of missing her hasn't gone away. I still love her.

Peace.

My mother died in 2006 and I remember how at her funeral I just wanted to get in the coffin with her. She’d had dementia for years and was in a nursing home in another state so I didn't get to see her as much as I should have. But she didn’t have a drivers license and I was the one who drove her wherever she wanted every week. We had so much fun together and I’ll always have that to treasure and remember her by. Ha like the time I drove her to get her hair fixed and she went in and thr6 told her she didn’t have an appt but fixed her hair anyway. And when we came out she realized we were at the wrong salon. 😂😂

As others have pointed out, losing the woman who gave you life is one of the most difficult challenges that you will face. Grief is a journey and everyone's experience is unique to a degree--sort of like our mothers.

It has been 13 years since I lost my complicated, troubled mother and I am still working out my feelings about her. But I know that there is much to cherish and there are still a few small services that I can render to her. I try to offer emotional support to my brother who still feels her loss and I share her legacy of cancer survival with young parents. I savor the scent of lilacs because she loved their fragrance and I smile with the memory of bringing her handfuls of blossoms pinched from our neighbor's bush.

Sometime, far in the future, you will find your grief transmuting into little gems of memory, but for now, it just plain hurts. I hope that you are finding the practical and emotional support that you need in this time. You will find your way through this.

You don't have to be strong every minute of the day. Give over to your weakness when you need to. Just don't give in to it entirely. That is not what your mother would want for you.

I’m dreading the day.

I hope your last hug was long, warm and full of love.

but no one ever really leaves you if you never forget them. Hope time makes it hurt less

I'm so sorry.

It's been 7 years for me and it still hurts so much. I'm tearing up now, thinking of what my mother meant to me and how much I would love to see her angelic face and hug her and hold her cold hands and rub them and talk to her about her grandson. She was the only one who understood for many years and that loss has been unbearable.

Grieving is differrent for everyone, just be true to yourself and honor how you feel is the best advice I can give.

I lost my mom in 1999. It's so hard. Give yourself the time you need. Wishing you sweet memories.

I’m so sorry. I still miss my Mom desperately who died over 3 years ago.

... is made from your mother. I talk to my deceased mom quite a bit, and hug her daily (I hug myself, that is.)

So very sorry for your loss.

Sending all my heartfelt sympathies.

I lost mine 7 years ago and still miss her badly but do "hear" her when she would nag me about stuff, so I go and follow the "orders" (although I still have a ways to go with some stuff).

Try to think of those happy memories and the things that you find yourself doing that she would do. But most importantly, go ahead and grieve and take your time doing it. It can be overwhelming but over time, it will pass.

We are here for you.

My mother died about 25 years ago. I still cry a little sometimes. The memories of hugging her do stay with you for comfort. Several times in the year after her death, my mother came to me in a dream. I cried out, "Mom!" and we hugged and smiled together. She said "Thank you," but then she had to leave. One day, several years later, I was making myself a peanut butter sandwich, and I thought: I wonder what my Mom is doing right now. Suddenly, a forceful answer came into my mind: "Well, right now, I am making a peanut butter sandwich for my daughter!" Then I looked down at my hands and realized: My mother's hands were the first hands I ever saw doing this, and she is the person who taught me how to do this, and so many other parts of living. Your many memories of your mother will always be with you, and also she stays with you in every other moment of your life, through the love she shared with you.

It's rough some times, but I grieve and it lessens for a while. I do things that remind me of her and it helps me feel better. For example, I used to call her every Sunday so I have my coffee every Sunday in a cup that she gave me as a gift. It has a small chip in it and the pattern is faded, but I do it because it helps me remember her.

I'm very sorry for your sorrow. It will overwhelm you for a while, then as time goes by, it will get better. You will start to think of her and smile. Be well.

such a terrible loss, losing your mother. Sending hugs, and prayers.

Sending ((Hugs))

It's been nearly 10 years since Mom passed away and really more than that as she had dementia and left us nearly 2 years before that,,,,
It's both terrible and awful. But then I could picture her right by my side and could talk with her whenever I wanted,,,, When I made the bed in the morning when I cut up fruit when I made Holiday meals when I sewed she was there and I could talk with her,,,,

Having been through it myself, I can only tell you that it DOES get better with time..All our hugs.

I lost my mom when I was sixteen. That was 42 years ago, and I still miss her.

"Sorry for your loss" seems very petty, but nothing feels meaningful. Right after my mom's death I remember watching a commercial and thinking "Why does anyone care about breakfast cereal right now? Don't they know my MOM just died?"

Hang in there. She was obviously a very special person.

I know. Time makes it better, but things are different now.

I still talk to her every single day. I imagine she’s getting sick of me.

Sorry for your loss. I know it hurts.

We all grieve at our own pace, in our own way. Your mother’s spirit lives on through your shared memories, cherish them always.

I lost my father in December 2019, grandma in January 2020. Recent cancer diagnosis may have me as the next runner up. I called my mother last night just to let her know how I am doing. I have good days, and plenty of not so good days, yesterday was a definite “not good day”.

I’m usually pretty good with my husband and warn him “I going to be a difficult ass” when he comes home from work on these bad days. I neglected to do this last night with mom. I proceeded to argue with her about my funeral planning, and said some things I now regret. Thank you littlemisssmartypants for the reminder to call her back tonight to try to make amends.

I pray that you are not alone, now is the time you will need to lean people for additional support.

and take care of yourself - you may outlive many of us who think we’re healthy.

Lost my Mom when I was only in my late 20's. Over 40 years ago. I still feel her presence and I often talk to her.

It will be heartbreaking not to have her around, but she'll always be with you.

I keep this on my wall...

after a long illness. I know one thing. Your mother is always with you. It will not be the same, but she is there in your heart and mind.
It will get easier.

I wish you peace as you remember your beautiful mother.

Every day something will happen or someone will say something that reminds me of her and pretty much always makes me smile or laugh out loud. Sometimes it is as simple as using one of her favorite expressions.

When she died my grief was not raw as in other losses; she had dementia and for my sisters and me she really had been gone for a couple of years. I just hated that she was no longer there as her old self and that she would miss her grandchildren's weddings and the births of their children. She died in 2004 and four of her five grandchildren were 20 yrs old or younger, and none of the great grandchildren had been born.

My sisters and I are fortunate to be very close and we talk about the things we remember a LOT; we all remember different things because we are 5 & 7 years apart and we each experienced her differently We usually end up laughing because she was so damn funny. So don't hesitate to laugh, it is very healing.

I hope you have siblings or cousins or her close friends - folks you really care about who also cared deeply for her. You will always be a great comfort to one another. I also hope you all remember and talk about the fun and funny times - it helps a lot. (when my grandmother died at age 102, we all sat around telling Granny stories, and there were a ton of them! Things like that really help)

The cliche is "it will get better" Well, it does, but that getting better part is not on a timeline. You are not going to go through the stages of grief on a set schedule. Everyone feels and processes things differently and those who don't understand that can just go sit on a tack. (as my mom used to say - and that made me smile)

All I can say is that in time you’ll replace grief with beautiful memories.
One more thing- her voice is embedded in your brain. Deepest sympathy

All I can say is that every bit of your pain and grief is a sign of how deeply and truly you loved her, so even as it hurts, be glad that you had that love with her in the first place.

Not all people are close to their Mom's. I wasn't as close as I wanted to be. And ironically with her death I have gotten closer to her in some ways as I believe in the idea that the Spirit lives on in our hearts with our love.

So on every occasion that I am reminded both my parents are gone and I feel that pain, I also get to feel the joy of knowing there was much love and I am not letting that go to waste.

Every tear I cry for their loss is also deepening the river of joy I knew when they lived.

So grieve as you must, but know that your pain is making way for future joy and gratitude.

...Sending peace and healing thoughts for you and your loved ones.

Reach out to them and don't be afraid to ask for help when needed.

My Mom died a month ago, and even though she'd had dementia for 13 years and had no memory left, I still miss her every day.

Treasure the memories and be glad you had a loving mother -- so many people don't.

Reconnect with old friends and family members you haven't heard from in a while. I've reconnected with cousins I hadn't spoken with in years, found out some family history I didn't know about, and have an invitation to go visit one cousin out of state in the future.

Treat yourself to some escape from grief -- I loaded up my Kindle with books and spent hours reading in recent weeks.

If you're also the executor of your Mom's estate, there's another long list of hurdles and hassles to get through. I'm in process of clearing out Mom's house, a difficult and emotionally challenging job.

Take it one day at a time.

Hugs!

Lost my mom 2 years ago. Missing her still.

The pain does get easier to bear with time, but I know how sharp it feels when fresh like yours. My heart is with you.

I lost my mom 3 years ago, and miss her every day. I appreciate her more today than ever.

Bless you. Be kind to yourself.

for over 30 years, most likely from childhood exposure to chemicals in Nazi Germany (she was left-handed...a no-no for kids). I miss her every day.

You’ll grieve, and you’ll always miss her, but I promise you the day will come when the happy memories way outweigh the grief…

Take as much time as you need to grieve your Mom's loss. And get grief counseling if you feel you need it.
Peace to you.

My mother died in 2010. I sat in my condo for five days, alone, contemplating my complicated relationship with the person who was probably the closest to me before I had my children. It was August and it was hot. A large green bush outside my living room window had refused to flower that year. Who knows why. Maybe the gardeners hadn't fertilized it enough. Maybe the August heat was too much for the delicate blooms. On the last day before I was to go back to work, I sat by that window, sipping coffee and gazing outside. I noticed one small white flower on the bush. It was shaped like a tiny cross. My mother was a devout Catholic all her life. I was not. The longer I looked at that tiny flower, the more I felt that it was a sign from my mother. I felt certain she was now with her God. Was it a coincidence? A fluke? I don't know. I just know how I felt.
I don't know if you will ever receive a sign from your mom, but I wouldn't be surprised if you did. Love has no boundaries. In the meantime, you can hug her in your thoughts/dreams.

My mother wrote me a letter before she went in for brain surgery of a hopefully benign tumor, just in case. I got the letter about 8 months later when she died of the cancer they discovered. In it she said, "You will go on living, and the heavy feeling in your heart will get lighter."

It's been 34 years. The heavy feeling is still there, but I've grown strong carrying it around.

miss her. She was a kind lady. It will take a few years to get through the immediacy of the pain, but thankfully it gets better eventually. In the meantime,

I miss woman every single day and don't you know that sometimes, I still find myself saying to myself i need to tell mom about something even picking up the phone & stopping when I remember she's gone. Same with my MIL & SIL who passed from clear cell renal carcinoma & apendeceal cancer. I still cry on the regular even after this much time has elapsed. I won't lie and say that because "time heals all wounds" doesn't really apply here BUT in time, when you think of her, you'll be able to smile which enevtually evolve into recalling funny quirks, hilarious episodes & other sweet things that you remember about your mom.

I don't know what you believe about the afterlife but after having undergone 3 NDE's, & my faith, I believe with all my heart that when your time comes, as it will for all of us, she'll be waiting for you to that long awaited hug in the beginning of the time that you'll NEVER be parted again.

In the meantime, please accept my deepest condolences & allow me extend a somber welcome to the "Motherless Girls Club".

HUGZ

For Your mommy May she have a wonderful journey home to be reunited with all of her loved ones who've gone before her.