Prayers and loving intentions welcome - my Mom is having hip surgery now.

Dear DUer friends and family,

Yesterday I learned my 93-year-old Mom had a fall; the community she lives in is minimally staffed on weekends, and it was some time before the on-duty medical staff could be reached. This morning I learned that they had diagnosed a hip break and she had been taken by ambulance to a local hospital, where surgery is underway as I write this.

I have terribly mixed feelings right now. She has been so unhappy with life for so long. It has been so difficult for her to cope with the dementia and its concommitant loss of memory and capability, and the macular degeneration that is depriving her of the consolation of being able to at least read, look at magazines, etc. She often expresses the hope that she can 'go to heaven soon'.

The choice, the doctors told us, was between the surgery (always risky for a 93-year-old, even one as generally healthy as Mom) and being bedridden for the remainder of her life. She's been evaluated for hospice twice in the past year and each time the verdict has been "she's nowhere near qualifying for hospice - she could live another 10 years. Or die tomorrow from a sudden event." With that in mind, "bedridden for the remainder of her life" seemed like a potentially lingering and cruel sentence, so we okayed the surgery.

She has a history of negative cognitive complications with anaesthesia - post-anaesthetic psychoses, disorientation, etc. But her physical recuperation in the past has been nothing short of phenomenal.

Should she survive and recover from this surgery she will need physical therapy to regain maximum health and mobility, and for someone with her type of dementia that will be a trying ordeal as well.

There are no "good" outcomes for Mom, or for those of us who love her and share the pain of her struggle. But this morning as I was doing my morning meditation and prayer time, one of my readings had the heading, "Together". And the reading included this: "When I work, play, or pray with others, something greater than the sum of our individual efforts results."

That reminded me that I am part of a large, loving, and powerfully helpful community. Be with me, please, and hold us - my Mom and those who love her - in your hearts that we may be blessed with the strength and serenity to find the joy and the growth within the darkness of this difficult time.

hopefully,
Bright