that a tray of little shot glasses filled with red wine was passed around, and a tray of little pieces of bread at our Presbyterian service. He said "cocktails, hors d'oevres, how nice". LOL! He was obviously not familiar with how us Presbyterians do communion.

So I know just what you mean. The Lutheran church uses wafers on a tray. The Presbyterians use bread.

The Presbyterians used to dip the bread in a cup (intinction), but decided that individual glasses were better.

issue for me as I don't attend church. I'm glad I went as a kid but my life is too complex to attend. My god is nature and my ancestors. So I spent alot of time going on drives in leafy neighborhoods or the countryside or thinking about the lives of my ancestors.

I've run into common cup at other churches, but at my Episcopal church we lineup and kneel, they pass the bread, say the blessing and everyone eats, then they do the same thing w/ the little shot glasses.
As to confession, it's offered and there is a confessional in the back, but I've never seen anyone use it.
My experience was it was a combination of high Lutheran and Roman Catholic as far as the service, which is exactly what I was looking for because I crave the spectacle and ritual of high church, with plenty of social justice activism and no guilt.
And now, the fact that they're affirming is a big selling point as well.

Covid crisis hit, and so many of them had issues on being safe vs. their usual practices. A lot of them refused to be safe, stating that they would be fine regardless of not implementing common sense practices that would make things safer. As a result, I recall some congregations getting sick from Covid as a result.

To admit, I wasn't surprised that they chose to not be safe and as a result, expose their members to the potential of Covid (as well as other highly communicable diseases. And I suspect that some would continue this practice (exposing everyone).

This is one reason that I don't participate any longer in some churches, unless they have adopted different practices in abating the spread of disease.

It's a shame and the Episcopal church is not by far the only one that doesn't practice safety. A lot of 'Mom and Pop'/smaller churches do not practice procedures to ensure safety either (usually decided by the Pastor, committee or congregation on what they want to do).

So it's left to you mostly. Go to another church if need be. Your life may depend on it.

Most parishes in my diocese still have hybrid services, and we're completely closed during the pandemic.

Usually for better, but sometimes worse, the diocesan bishops have a very strong influence on their parishes. This has permitted advances in LGBTQ issues, women in ministry, and so on. But I imagine a pandemic-minimizing bishop could lead in that way too.

Because of the communion and confession practices there, I would never have joined.

We are not Episcopal, but come from several different Protestant backgrounds. In our communion, we are given a wafer to dip into the cup of wine. I have not seen anyone drinking from the cup.

Secondly, confession has never been discussed. I have never “confessed” nor witnessed it.

dipping the water into wine was more unsanitary because people's fingertips touch the wine in the process. I Iooked it up online and that was confirmed in the article that I read.

My church uses individual glasses in a tray. There are a nurse instructor and a doctor in the congregation. They initiated the change from dipping to individual glasses during the pandemic and it has remained in practice. Glasses on a tray was the practice in the church that I grew up in, too.

In my experience, the common cup is standard practice, with intinction/dipping being a common variant -- especially if someone was raised Roman Catholic.

It is also very acceptable to decline the cup, which people do if they don't drink alcohol and there's no non-alcoholic wine available. Crossing one's arms over one's chest in an X signals that clearly, and the priest will give a quick blessing. Then extend hands for the bread. During the pandemic after vaccines (required in the parishes I attended), it was bread-only for a long time for everyone.

As far as confession, I've only gone to anglo-catholic parishes -- "smells and bells," high liturgy, often sung services. Individual confession was rare, maybe once a year or so, or perhaps on a retreat. Again, people who grew up Roman Catholic seemed more likely to include individual confession in their personal practices.

I was raised Methodist -- thimbles of grape juice and all! Joining the Episcopal Church as a grad student, even though I served on altar staff for a year, I never felt pressured to do something I wasn't comfortable with.

Long story short-ish: if you find most of the service meaningful, but sharing the chalice squicks you out; and individual confession is off-putting...you get to participate as you are comfortable. If clergy are judgy, that's them, not the Episcopal Church.

those questions in the OP. I wondered if what I encountered was typical Anglican practice or just the clergy at one church.

I was only visiting there. There are other reasons why I would not have joined. It just was not the right place for me.

Worshipping in "Spirit and truth" doesn't always mean worshipping in church.

sharing the experience with others, of having a mutual support system, and of working with others in community service activities.

My paternal grandparents were among the founding members, so this parish is our family church.

We use the common cup, but people have the option of dipping the communion wafer into the wine of the common cup if they so choose. Many members of the parish choose to do this.

As far as the confession goes, I don't recall our parish ever using one-on-one confessions. In my time there, we've always used the common confession your OP mentions.

dipping the bread (they don't use a wafer) into the wine. But, some studies have shown that this method can spread germs because people's fingers often touch the wine.

So my church switched to individual little glasses on a tray, on the advice of a nurse and a doctor who are members of the congregation.

The concern over the common cup is overstated. The alcohol in the cup and the PH of our mouths kill any pathogens that might be present. Typically, germs are passed from person to person via the hands or airborne into the eyes and nose not into the mouth.

As another respondent noted, it is more likely that germs will be passed by intinction [dipping the Host into the cup].

I am an LEM at my church; our bishop advises against intinction; but, people do it anyway; and, I am not about to confront them at the altar rail. Some offer the host to me to intinct. As for me, my hands are scrubbed as best I can before Mass begins.

I don't buy it.

Is the alcohol content strong enough to kill viruses? It can kill some bacteria.

When you drink from a cup, saliva from your mouth goes into the cup and onto the outside of the cup. Even when the priest/pastor wipes the rim of the cup, do they get all of the germs off? How sanitary are their hands while handling a cloth that has wiped the cup several times?

What about people whose immune systems are compromised from being on corticosteroids for rheumatoid arthritis? Or on chemo for cancer?

On viral spread through saliva

https://www.drbowyer.com/blog/spread-germs-saliva/

I think I read about it in an article published by the cathedral in San Francisco. I'll do some digging.

But you can easily just say, "No, thank you," or cross your arms, and not partake of the wine. No biggie. Episcopalian culture is very accommodating, and the essence of good manners is not doing anything that might make people feel uncomfortable. Manners are very important. Most Episcopalian jokes involve thank you notes or gin and tonics.

As far as confession, you can always schedule a private confession if you feel you need one, but the general practice is the group confession. "The things I have done, and the things I have left undone" is engraved in my brain for life.

Signed,
Currently Unchurched Cradle Episcopalian

It concluded that the common cup was safe if the rim was wiped after each sip. Also said that during waves of each covid variant that caused spikes in infection, there was no evidence that covid was spread by common cups in communion.

But "no evidence" is not the same as no cases spread that way. There are incubation periods for various viruses and bacteria, making it hard to trace the source.

I am only saying that I would not do it.
People who are ok with it are free to make their own choice.

Personal choice. Our bodies, our choices--that's the Episcopalian way, in all things.

"cradle Episcopalian" - "christened" (renamed to "baptized" ) and confirmed in it.

My parish is Anglo-Catholic in that, as someone else pointed out upthread, has all the "smells and bells" - literally everything gets the incense treatment and Communion gets its own set of bells during the recitation of this sacrament - and is often dubbed "High Church".

My parish includes the "common cup" (chalice), has an ornate carved wood Confessional Booth in the back, AND has 14 stations of the Cross on columns around the nave of the church (vs 12 that most others have), plus has a somewhat "isolated" High Altar behind an intricately carved partition (where the choir is also seated).

There ARE big differences for other things between the Anglo-Catholic and Catholic however, number one obviously being no "Pope", among other things, but the liturgies are similar.

There is also the "Book of Common Prayer", which had a huge update here in the U.S. in 1979, basically becoming what I call a "mini encyclopedia/how-to" for the various services - with the options for the readings for that day's services from the Old Testament and the New Testament (Gospels). There were additional updates since.

For Communion, it's how you hold your hands - cupped and you'll receive a host in your hand, and if you cross your hands across your chest, then they will dip the host.

I have been to other church services (although a long time ago) that do Communion and for instance, the Baptists had the little cups of grape juice.

Study from England:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7439816/

Variety of approaches by different Episcopal churches and dioceses after covid rates declined 2022:

https://episcopalnewsservice.org/2022/03/18/some-dioceses-ease-restrictions-on-wine-from-common-cup-amid-declining-covid-19-rates/

A rather lengthy discussion from Canada:

https://www.toronto.anglican.ca/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/2022-03-The-Common-Cup-M-Garner.pdf