Why can't God defend himself?

Isn't he supposed to be omnipotent? Doesn't he have the power to turn people into pillars of salt? Didn't he destroy 2 cities in one night? OK, it took him 40 days to flood the Earth, but that's still impressive. So why can't he get off his cloud and smite his enemies today?

Perhaps he died like Nietzsche said. Maybe he didn't do all those things at all. It could be that those acts were all just metaphors and that God is just a snake oil salesman who can only perform parlour tricks like turning water into wine.

In any case, if he existed and is still alive, he now must be a feeble old despot getting by on a reputation that modern science has found serious holes in. Perhaps he now has Alzheimer's disease and is incapable of even tweeting his rage like the new god on the block, Trump.

Why should anyone have a fear of a god who is incapable of standing up for himself? A god who needs other people to fight his battles is not a god worthy of respect, let alone worship.

I, for one, have no fear of any god created by man. His rabid followers, however, are another matter. In some parts of the world, where the farce is strong, devotees will take up arms and murder someone whom they feel has insulted their Grand Poobah.

By so doing, they admit that what I've been saying is true, that God is nothing more than a paper cherubim. If he is all powerful, then why does he need henchmen to do his dirty work?