Lament in Paradise

Here in glorious wonder, I stand
Peace surrounds me
A feeling of awe in the beauty of it all
I feel whole

The sky blue, forest green, bright light
No darkness at all in Paradise
My world is an infinite easel
Painted in colors unimaginable

Everything here is provided
No needs, no deprivation,
All that is wanted is fulfilled
No need to labor, no money exchanged

--

So why does it feel so wrong?
When everything’s fantastic
And all is full of life?

Why do I just shed tears?
When I know that I’m a rarity
And the people I loved don’t exist here

--

The guilt overwhelms me when I think of the missing
All those faces I remember from life
None of them I knew are here
All of them have disappeared

So how was I worthy of this place
What did I do that made me worth this wonder?
I look back on my life and know
It was all a sham…my life was a scam…

I shake and shudder as the tears stream forth
My screams of anger at the unfair world
Innocent children suffered for no reason
Dying early with no chance at life

In my conscience, I know I should volunteer
To leave this place and go to my earned reward
That I deserve…not this place…
No…not this Paradise

For it is all unfair, that those who loved and cared
Are missing from here…
And instead, a lowly worm like me
Enjoys the fruits of peace and calm

--

Is Paradise the place of peace?
Or just a harbor for laments?
Guilt and reservation
My tears will be the test

Eternal torment in the beauty of Forever
An ironic twist of the knife.