Seniors
Related: About this forumFurther to my post about my best friend's loser boyfriend
This guy has 19 felony convictions dating back to 2000, nine of which landed him in prison. The most serious current charges for which he is out on bond (which she paid) are delivery of a controlled substance causing death and being a habitual offender. She says he didn't do it. How does she know he didn't do it? Probably because he told her he didn't do it and being the upstanding model citizen that he is, he's probably telling the truth. The prisons are full of people who didn't do it. He probably didn't do any of the other felonies either; the cops are just picking on him because they're jealous of him.
As if that isn't bad enough, the one thing that bothers me the most, that I can't get my head around and can't seem to reconcile with is the fact that she has absolutely no compassion or empathy for the family of the woman who died. The woman was a mother. I've cried over this. Yet my friend doesn't seem to care about that at all. It makes me see her in a whole different light. I feel like I don't even know who she is anymore.
It's really starting to affect my feelings toward her. Am I wrong? Am I being too judgmental? This whole thing has just shocked and saddened me. It just seemed so out of character for her, but maybe it really isn't. Maybe I saw traits in her that really weren't there because I loved her and she'd been my best friend for 60 years.
I thought I had bad taste in men. I want to call up my former boyfriends and tell them I'm sorry I thought so little of them at the end because they really weren't all that bad. At least, not compared to this guy. Yikes.
SheltieLover
(81,709 posts)Skittles
(172,855 posts)does she need a mental health evaluation? Don't abandon her, you're probably one of the last connections to reality she has
Shellback Squid
(10,153 posts)littlemissmartypants
(34,346 posts)I had to let my one long-time friend go. We had been friends for more than 50 years.
In the last conversation we had, she asked me if I was watching Charlie Kirk's funeral.
She had moved to the dark side.
I don't plan to ever see her again. It's a huge loss. We met in 7th grade. But she's not the same and I can't help her.
I'm neither able nor interested in spending the time that I have left on earth doing things that agitate and therefore hurt me.
We have to take care of ourselves first. Especially if we are to be healthy for the few years we may have left. Life really is too short.
❤️
NBachers
(19,572 posts)niyad
(134,032 posts)of mind, for your own safety, walk away and stay away. You have done everything you possibly can, and she is unwilling to see or admit the truth. At this point, your own health and well-being are suffering, and that is not right. Please just take care of yourself.
mopinko
(73,932 posts)is there any way u can get his bond revoked? in your shoes, id go talk to the prosecutor. tell them hes taking advantage of a senior citizen.
if anything hes done crosses the line, he sd b right back on jail. for good.
Rainbow Droid
(726 posts)It's really devastating when a friend or family member ends up like this but they're an adult making their own decisions. You have to do the same, and your decision here is clear cut and unambiguous. Heal and protect yourself with time and distance. Maybe they'll eventually realize they were wrong, but whether they do or not is not on you and you've already done all you can to help them get there. They chose this. Now they must live with the consequences, one of which is losing contact with a lifelong friend. It hurts, but they left you no choice.
Source: Personal experience.
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