My wonderful hubby died on July 8th after living 10 years with Dementia/Alzheimer's.

I've been through what you are embarking on. It can be very hard and getting support from DU will help as there are others going through this. I never received help from the Alzheimer's Association, though I always intended to connect with them. I kept adapting to his reality.

I was pretty honest with him up until he had only weeks to live. I couldn't tell him he was dying. He was always so happy to just be home with me. And as I prepared myself psychologically, I just kept telling him how much I loved him. Tonight I've been missing him terribly. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that he's gone.

Please know how adapting to the oddities that may emerge could be your best course of action. All people react differently. There is no absolute pattern. But adapting to the changes will keep you two close. Just remember that Love is the answer.

Thank you so much. I had already decided that I will always treat him with respect no matter what.
Frankly, I am scared. Scared for our future, scared for his health, and scared that I will not be strong enough.

I found that the process makes you stronger. Hopefully you get help when you need it from family and friends. Once you get confirmation that he is on the Dementia Spectrum, you can seek help and advice from your doctor and the Alzheimer's Association.

David was too old for most of the study programs. But we did participate in one testing a pill to cure Alzheimer's. Turned out the medication wasn't helpful. But that process was a course of action that we did that was proactively taking on Dementia. The study taught me a lot. And there have been successful studies that you may benefit from.

His GP put him on Namenda and Donepezil early on. And he was advised to receive cognitive therapy. Through that we found a geriatric physician who did studies on treatment. We saw him for 9 years. He was the expert we needed.

One thing I recall reading was how to be empathetic to the oddities that may emerge. One suggestion was to try to get dressed with gloves on. It helps to put yourself in his place. When it finally occured and I needed to help David get dressed, I was ready. But there were so many odd things going on. You learn about visual spacial problems and how it manifests.

I hope these things help you prepare for the future. There have been advances in treatment. I hope that you and your husband can benefit from them. And from others like me who completely understand and want to help.

My father had undiagnosed dementia.

He'd get phone calls from solicitors and thought they knew him b/c they called him by his first name and sounded so friendly. I nearly hit the roof when he gave out his Social Security number. Or drove alone from NYC to NJ after cataract surgery with one eye bandaged and the other with another cataract.

Take care of yourself or you'll get caregivers' burnout.

You must almost had a stroke.
I took care of father many years ago so I am familiar with burnout.
Difference my father was a nasty ass but my husband is the kindest sweetest person ever.

Here in Mesa AZ a suburb of the Phoenix Metro area, they had Support groups for the caregivers and also some "Day Care for Adults" programs so that caregivers could have some time for themselves. My Dad couldn't/wouldn't take advantage of these things.

If you have any residential Senior Homes around, they may have some resources for you.

Sending ((Hugs))

alz.org

We have cared for both of our mothers who had dementia. They were a tremendous help.

One of the first rules for caring for someone is that you are no good to them if you are not caring for yourself.

Please contact them ASAP!

Its been a lonely road to be on, I know that much.

There was no "help" until the very end at $500.00 a day for the last stop hospice place.

He'd broken his hip and failed to recover and could not breathe or swallow.

I wish I had some good advice but I don't.

I've lost so much, so very much.

Hang-in there best you can and he's lucky he's got you around.