His daughter is a senior at high school and her choices for schools are UT, A&M and Baylor. Dad has already bought her one vehicle, but she has to have a Ford Explorer or better when she goes to college. Then she has to have money for cheerleader uniforms and camp, new clothing for school, an expensive prom dress and photos, yada-yada. The daughter will end up costing him about $250K if she manages to graduate college. She wants to become a nurse, but she hasn't had many science courses or dealt with the blood, urine or feces yet and the high school where is she is doing fairly well in her studies isn't known for its academic rigor. Meanwhile, her parents never married, the father didn't pay child support for a few years since he was unemployed, and the girl was raised by women all of her life (mom, aunt and cousin). I know that all of the women in her life are manipulative so she has been well trained in the art form of being a user. I think that she is also active in the speech events at school so receives even more training as a drama queen away from home also.

BTW, I'm not female-bashing just pointing out the circumstances for this particular diva.

It sounds like your brother's friend's daughter and mine could use a big dose of reality. Perhaps they can talk her into starting out in junior college (mine honestly doesn't even seem interested in college) to be more fiscally prudent, especially if she wants to go into nursing. Why not? My step mom is a surgical nurse who also teaches college courses at a junior college. She too believes those who want to help others should not harm themselves financially.

Perhaps you could possibly pass on some knowledge for your brother's friend.

Considering her inexperience with bodily fluids and by-products, she may change her mind.

What the hell is up with these kids?

with him.

The odd thing is he unexpetedly dropped by last Monday looking for a refuge from the heat and the women he is living with over in the next town. Since he is my brother's friend, I let him in and was polite to him.

When he comes over to the house, the visits always turn into a request to stay overnight and get drunk. He is a belligerent drunk and I left the house about 8:45 to eat since I didn't want to discuss politics with him and I could sense he was about to get mouthy. By the time I arrived back home an hour later, he left because he got into an argument with my brother who is also short-tempered. I'm not certain if he drove the 30 miles back home, rented a hotel room or spent some time in the county jail. I've seen him drink a fifth of vodka in one night and on Monday he already drank more than half a bottle of whiskey.

The only good thing about the whole episode is that I managed to leave at just the right time to avoid the arguments. I've taken way too much verbal abuse lately so I don't want to hear anymore shouting. My have-tos right now are a decent paying job, shelter for myself and my cat, a way to leave town every couple of months, some peace and tranquility, and some catnip after I pass the pre-employment drug screen. None of those have to be top-notch (except for the catnip ) since I don't mind using public transporation or living in an apartment.

As for what is up with these kids, I put that question in the same box as my understanding of what is up with women? I'm 48 and still haven't figured that question out either.

I hate to call anyone that, but I call them like I see them (so to speak). His friend reminds me of the pot calling the kettle black. You just want to scream, "Deal with your own issues before you come in my house." But I digress. I truly hope that you find some peace and quiet away from the madness.

I feel absolutely dreadful for complaining when there are others who are putting up with more shit that I can imagine. I have best wishes for you. If your brother wants to keep that sort of company, then so be it. But I truly wish you the best. No person should be forced to tolerate what you have.

I try to refrain from attaching derogatory labels on people and find something positive in everyone, but in most aspects that person could be considered a loser--I've known him over 30 years myself and for short bursts of time I don't mind being around him, but after 2 to 3 hours his obnoxiousness rises to the level that I can't stand being around him. The best thing that I can say about that person is that he helped take care of my father when he was ill, but we also provided him with a place to stay while he was in his one-month layovers during his time off from his job in Alaska so that balances out in my opinion.

I'm praying for a resolution and getting back into the workforce. I needed some time to heal from what has happened in the last two years or so, but walking on eggshells to avoid getting assaulted has taken its toll--particularly since I haven't unloaded my problems except for a few comments at DU or a phone call every couple of months to my two closest friends. My brother has strained his relationships with his friends and the family because they are sick of hearing him complain about the same issues nearly every day. In addition, he expects for me to be his psychiatrist when he has issues with one of the other siblings or a problem at work. I try to listen for awhile, but after the first 5-10 minutes I eventually have to tune him out because I get tired of him playing the "I'm the victim" card. I've spent nearly all day in my bedroom on the computer so that I wouldn't have to interact with him and will do the same on Tuesday and Wednesday when he leaves for work in the afternoon. The only times that I emerged were to feed the cat or myself.

I know that I still need some help in the short term when I move from here; however, once I'm gone I don't know if I want to talk to any of my family again. That's the result of being called evil, conniving and a cancer to be excised on a frequent basis. While I have friends in various cities, the only thing that I can count on to make my day seem a little better in this town is my cat. At least I haven't given up hope though.