Parenting
Related: About this forumWhen we teach our kids about living
Are we giving them the tools they need to build a prison or tear it down?
Do we want them to be like us? Do we want them to take what we taught them and turn it upside down or sideways?
I've been thinking of my kids and nieces and nephews we were close to as they grew up. All of the kids have done well, but in so many different ways.
usonian
(14,592 posts)That is, how we parents act, rather than what we teach.
Rich parents teach their kids how to exploit others, and they become "successful" at that. "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" taught that, and author Kiyosaki later teamed up with DJT to write more of the same.
My Dad worked hard, and was scrupulously honest, like "Poor Dad" (Kiyosaki's Dad, who was an educator and reformer). My Dad got into politics on a reform slate and was a City Councilor, the guy who voted his beliefs while others got paid for their votes.
Well, I made a decent living, never rich, and my daughter is DEI leader for a University system. Her Dad's sense of equality, respect for all people, and fairness to all people was not taught. She just saw how I acted, and how her Mom, an RN, cared for everyone equally, and with respect. She wanted to speak Spanish to her patients, but the rules were that a designated person would do so to avoid misinterpretation.
While I have some regrets in life, I can't think of anything more or different that I would have done in the circumstances. I didn't push her into computing; she just beat all the other kids in high school computer class, though she did choose a different path.
In the same university system where I worked for some 7 years.
Marthe48
(19,321 posts)have the right values and are setting good examples as they go. And as a bonus, they have what they need and can afford extras. They worked hard to get where they are, and didn't hurt people to get ahead.
How we taught them allows them to adapt to a lifestyle that is familar to my generation. So it is easy for me and my family to accept how the kids turned out. I hope that by teaching them what we knew, we didn't make them think they had to live a life that isn't fitting them. Hope they know that they could be and do anything they wanted.