You might consider adding, when she says ‘I’m not a racist’, say that (whatever she previously said’ is the very definition of racism. I had to say that to a relative who said ‘but I’m not a racist’, it seems to surprise them and stop them in their tracks. I doubt it changed their ways, but at least I felt better.

And she didn't keep it to herself which is odd since she was married to and bore five children with a man who was often treated as black but was actually some kind of Jewish, she didn't like them either. Turns out, she did like us all that much either though the younger ones spent their entire adult lives living near her and maintaining relationships. She got worse in her 90s, no filters, and all her healthcare professionals were non-white and my siblings were always trying to get her stop being a jerk about it.

I hope you and your family are not too harmed by it. Just proves why the "can't pick your biological family" is such a thing.

Take care, welcome to DU.

I’m sure both my parents, now long deceased,would be saying the exact same things.
I grew up hearing just about every racial and nationality slur, especially from my father.

I think - I hope - over time, these ugly attitudes will fade away.

An aside, I had an aunt whose son and his wife (my cousins) adopted a girl who was white like her, and she still never considered that girl “real” family. It’s heartbreaking.

Biblical Back Up


Everyone knows the parable of the Good Samaritan.
They were reviled by the Jewish People and the Jews even had historical reason to hate the group as they were the result of Assyrian taking Jewish women as war brides. The mixed people were called Samaritans.
But Jesus showed that even someone from such a lineage could BE the Good Neighbor.
So IF a Samaritan can BE a good neighbor and we are asked to follow that example, how is it wrong to marry a good person?
Regardless of their race?


Luke 10:25-37 New International Version

....he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead.
31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side.
32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side.
33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him.
34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”



https://lifeinmessiah.org/blog/revisiting-racism-in-the-nt

Samaritans were the result of marriages between Israelite women and Assyrian men. The Assyrians who conquered the Northern Kingdom of Israel did two things when they conquered a new area: transplant the native men to other parts of the Assyrian Empire and force native women to marry Assyrian men. This prevented uprisings from occurring, since the men would be out of their home countries and women would have stronger relationships with their occupiers.

But it was not the difference in DNA that caused future disunity between Samaritans and Jewish people. Rather, it was the mixture of pagan religious practices in Israel.[2]

Under Nehemiah’s governorship, the Jewish people who returned from Exile rejected their Samaritan brothers. Beyond that, when Jewish people returned to Jerusalem, Samaritans sided with the enemies of Israel. They burned Torah scrolls, denied the Jerusalem Temple, and accepted a polluted form of religion.[3] This led to many years of hatred between the two peoples.