I have a tough time differentiating between feeling really tired, being sick, or increased depression. It all feels similar to me. I get inertia. I just can't get off the ground. One of my sayings is I'm gunna do something even if it's wrong. Just to get started. Draw a black scribble to represent your mood, girl. It will get you started.

Do you ever think that creativity and that surge of energy one has on the higher end of bipolar, kind of go together? I'm hoping you get your mojo back. I just have chronic depression without the opposing mood. All my friends and family really miss the manic phase, when it is drugged out of them.

Hope I'm making sense? I'm trying to be empathetic but maybe I'm missing the mark?

But I can be creative when I'm content. Looking back, I had manic attacks as a kid as well, but we called them "sugar rushes."

The main thing is I don't see the point in life, or even in expressing myself when I'm depressed. I don't see the point since everything else is shit anyways I guess. Not that it's my life that's shit at the moment. (Though I've been through too much for someone my age and there's good reasons I was triggered into bipolar.) It's more like all the information I process about environmental destruction, or our political policies... I know too much and it hurts me so. But you can't tell me to not know this stuff...

Some of this might change once college rolls around. Meet new people and get a good social life going again. That helps immensely.

It can deplete your energy rather than build it. Sometimes I have to be alone to recharge. Sometimes I need to be around good people. Put a little light of protection around yourself to guard against emotional and mental "vampires" that drain you rather than recharge you. Get a good nights rest and maybe it won't seem so bleak in the morning.

It happens to me too.

I hope you find a way to work around it and feel better.

Neoma I bet you live creatively which also means you're sensitive in a world where sensitivity gets a bad wrap .

Detailed to a fault I guess. Because after one of them, I haven't fully gone back to drawing. It took a full week to finish that one. Guess I got burnt out...

I can show yah some in Du mail if interested.

My drive to do any of them goes completely out the window. There are at least 10 things I know I should be doing right now that would help me but I just don't care enough about my life to do any of them. For example my interests are science and computers. I've been telling myself for I don't know how long to learn to use Linux, program in C++ now that I know C, read up on a bunch of back issues of Scientific American that I have pilling up, teach myself some more complex Physic and Math, and on and on. These are all things that would greatly interest me at other times. But when I'm depressed like I have been for years I just say, yup looks interesting, but I just don't have the mental energy. Oh well, I'll just sleep instead and maybe my life will end peacefully.