I felt so sorry about blowing it there I came in here to cry.

nothing should follow anyone from anywhere into this forum. it should be the safest of safe places.

because of the nature of the group, we try to keep it the safest of safe havens.
your post doesn't really belong here either. i would ask that you repost this in meta, and change your post to a link. vanje was blocked for dragging a spat from another forum in here, and i have no problem doing the same to other members if this sort of post proliferates.
and i read libodem's posts before she deleted them, as you can see from the fact that i replied to them.

when people post an initial post that they are overwhelmed and sad, or whatever, they get the benefit of the doubt here. that is why i said that i didn't care what it was about. all i cared about is that someone new came here and posted, had a conflict follow them, and took down their words. that is just unacceptable here.
i took this action so that lurkers, many of whom eventually take shelter here, know that trouble will not be allowed to follow them.

that is my number.

The crux of the problem is clouded by removal of communication and/or back channel stuff, maybe including alerts, across at least two forums.

Consequently much of the event may be not readily available to most readers to ponder.

No doubt there is a balance that must be defended between MHSG as a safe haven for those needing support for a mental health issue, and the faulty use of MHSG as a refuge from mischief in other forums.

Within the limits of the what's available it seems to me that this must be left to trusting in you as a host who has a better perspective. I'll trust that you, and any others involved, gave all due consideration and acted in the way you deemed most appropriate.

Although I probably did not need to try and 'join' the group. I should have maybe just visited I read the SOP to make sure if rules were there, I followed them. It was only a couple of sentences. It seemed clear and simple. I tried to say so. That was locked too.
This is how I saw it. On Halloween my son said why does the name 'libodem' make me think of lesbian? I thought about if that was what I projected and since I'm straight was that alright with me. I thought would I be ashamed of that? I thought no. I should be proud if I were gay. So what.
I then about discussing in GBLT group. Though I'd join to have it on my subscrition feed. New topics show up there. That is how it started.
I almost wonder if someone searched all my old posts to find the "Friends of Dorothy" theme to bait me into saying the wrong thing? I wonder now if I had a wrong idea they found in an old post. My friend had told me she learned it in the 70's from her gay men friends. So I've known about the secret code of asking discreetly if someone might be gay, for the last 30 years.
This where I went wrong. I presumed the theme of the Wizard of Oz was ethereal and fluffy and that that Glenda the Good Witch was a fairy-like character. I asked if that was the linkage? I did not realize that was the most god awful offensive mistake in the world I could make. I will accept it because they say so. I get it, now. The Wicked Witch must be the reason the movie and Dorothy were popular with the culture. The munchkins, the tin, man, the cowardly lion, and the strawman all have a lot more in common with GLBT than that ridiculoud angle like entity, I mistakenly supposed did.
I put the word fairy in writing and asked a question about it. It made them angry and I didn't check back in time to see the warning. I got a mail saying I was banned from the group and locked out. Later I received a second mail saying I was locked. I would have taken all down if I had had the chance. The alert called me 'he' and a troll.
I've been here 7 years. I'm a she and I gave them a short bio do they knew that.
At first I thought oh.well I didn't belong there and I've obviously made enemies out in meta over the word policing.
And then I started to cry. I felt very misunderstood and hurt by the assumption I had just gone in to be ignorant to them. I really felt heartbroken and sad over being hated by all the gay people here. I didn't want it to be a drama in meta. And I didn't want to have everyone know I said fairy in gay group. I'm embarrassed and shamed
I did something awful and hurtful stumbling in there being clumsy. I thought we would be able to talk. But they let me know I not worth the piss to put me out if I were on fire. They don't like me and they certainly don't want me. They hurt me back as much as they could and I felt every bit of it.

That's how I saw it.

I was writing generally, recognizing that the need to act can be envisioned at either end of such a dialectic and that in my opinion the appropriate balance for that action is best determined by the host(s).

And hide out. I never expected the rejection to devastate me. I couldn't explain or apologize. I still have that embarrassing crap locked in there to look at. I guess that preserves their truth of my trollish behavior. I can't fix it now.
I was wrong. They were right. And I am sorry.

Sorry to bring it in here. But I have untreated depression and now it seems some kind of paranoia and a persecution complex. I'm a hot mess.

Relax. You've got friends. Don't take everything you read too seriously. (Remember I made you laugh!) And remember we have something in common. Don't let anyone define you. You are unique.

If you have complex feelings, you should consider getting help if you haven't already. Message board can help but only so much. Anyway...you have friends.

Good advice. Your time and effort in discussing issues with me did a lot to restore my dignity. Getting the bum's rush otta group triggered all those old feelings of someone else's judgement that I'm not worth while enough to straighten out. I felt like a throw away child.
It is embarrassing to have a wrong assumption called out.
And I was wrong. I've been pm'ing someone who asked his older friends about the possible symbolism in the movie.

It is rich with ideas and concepts. Not the least of banding together as a group of different beings to form an alliance. The rainbow (I thought I finally had it) came much later through the creative effort of Gilbert Baker.

I'm a fairly cold fish in real life. Having a mini melt down took me by surprise. I'm a lot tougher than that.

Meta-discussion is the appropriate place for that.

This group is "A safe place where people can talk about mental illness and how it is affecting their lives."

Thank You.

....however, I did delete post referencing one member.

much appreciated.

Fit in here. I needed to go someplace and as I started to go I shattered. I started bawling over that feeling of 'it is not fair' and 'they just don't understand' and 'oh, my god, I did get that wrong', 'Ive hurt the feelings of others', 'it can not fixed', 'the damage to them and my reputation around here is irreparable', 'What was I thinking being straight and not just visiting by going for a full charter membership. (You guys owe me back the dues money and I can sell the uniform on Craig's list). My shoes got some shit on them when I hit the 'other side of the fence they threw me over'. (figuratively). I won't be staying in the viper, Hell pit full of pigs. You can't toss me in with those hatrers, like you wanted to. I got dirty but I climbed right back out and I still love you. I won't come near you again. I learned some empathy born of fear.

They will go on just fine without my help.

And I'm growing a pair.