Old Christmas

This is something that is celebrated to this day in certain parts of coastal North Carolina. Back in the day, we would all drive down to Rodanthe and take part in the celebration. All that seafood! Although the tradition of Old Bucca, or Old Buck, was just artwork at that time, I heard older people tell me about seeing him during their childhood. There were presents, but not like what you got on the 25th. These were more personal and given as tokens of affection. A grand tradition that I miss terribly from this advanced age and geographic position.

So, today, January 6th, is another Old Christmas. I had a decent enough December 25th, although I sat alone due to my hubby having to work and our roommate being out of town. And, here I sit again... alone. Hubby is working and roomie is out for the night. Tomorrow, I take all this down and return the house to its drab, dull, tomb-like appearance. (We don't own it so we cannot do anything about it. The roomie/owner has the taste of an 1820s innkeeper. The walls are sky blue. The ceiling, carpets, and trim are all white. We live in Minnesota and it is not very mentally helpful to live in a perpetual snowstorm when you are from warmer climes.) I am ambivalent about this, as it really does not matter one way or the other. But tonight, I sit here alone. With my husband working nights and me having to be active during the day, we seldom see each other. I avoid the roomie if at all possible, which is an entirely different horror show. He has no idea how much we know about his machinations and how badly we want to get out of here. But, I have been deemed persona non grata by the government I paid into, since they refuse to give me any Social Security. (I think that this is their racket. They just hold out since statistically, anyone who reaches the age of 65 and requires SS will probably need a lot of it. Therefore, to make sure there is more for politicians to raid once they can the entire program, they know that people like me are doubtful to make it to claimant age and do whatever they can to hasten that outcome in us.) My husband makes to much for me to get a dime. He does not make much of anything in this two-tiered socioeconomic model. And, my name might as well be 'albatross' to him.

Speaking of Social Security, I have found a letter than I think the attorney who is supposedly helping me with my claim has been looking for. I did not even catch what it was. This has been months now, btw. I am slowly losing it. Yesterday, I bought some things at Wal-Mart and walked right out with only one of the bags. Did not catch this until I needed the things I had left later last night. I also find that I am forgetting to flush on occasion. Today, I forgot that I needed to do laundry. Then, around lunch, I put on some water to make some noodles, and then went to watch something on YouTube to await the water to boil and sat there for over thirty minutes while the pot of water boiled mostly away. This is not good. There is no way I can get help for this. There is no way we can afford something like Alzheimers or Parkinsons or whatever is going on. Earlier, I was sitting here in a daze looking at the 17 inches of fucking snow that we have here in the Twin Cities today. Just as I turned to look at yet another drift, a tune came on the system. "I wish there'd be snow on Christmas". I replied, "Well, you can come on up here, we did not have that problem!". I then sat here for about ten minutes laughing and crying at the same time.

Please let this end soon.