Always in my head
They are no better than any other monsters out there. The serial killers, the mass murderers. I consider them equally evil. They were supposed to be my family. They took the souls of me and my sisters. They must have thought we would be too young to remember. We do remember. Every day of our lives we remember. We get to spend the rest of our miserable lives remembering. And asking. Over and over. How could anyone do this to a child? The parents knew. How does one live with that? How can children live with that knowledge? It will never end. I wait to die.
= new reply since forum marked as read
certainly nothing i can say will amount to a hill of beans here. but since you posted here, i will do what i can.
first of all, thank you for the courage it must have taken to write that. congratulate yourself for that, and for surviving. people here are so willing to share, i suspect someone will come along and have something to say that will relate to what you have said.
second, i will assume that it is ok for me to ask you a couple questions, tho you certainly don't have to answer them.
are these monsters still a part of your life in any way? did anything ever happen to them? did you all ever tell?
are your sisters a part of your life? sometime i think the cruelest thing is the wedges that get driven between survivors.
are your parents still a part of your life?
do you think that justice would be worth living for?
and lastly, welcome to mental health. 
be proud of your courage to write this.
i don't have any helpful words, but we are always here to listen. 
Well, I guess if you are 120 and you have a terminal brain tumor it might be alright. But I have a feeling that's not the case! 
I suffered mightily at the hands of adults when I was a child- violence, sexual abuse, emotional abuse. It busted me up pretty bad and I didn't start recovering until I was 30 years old. After that it took me another 8 years to fully recover. But I am here now and I am happy and I am building a great life for myself, my wife, and hopefully a child.
I just want you to know that it's possible for life to get better. But you might have to go into all of that pain first to get there. A good therapist can be very helpful.
