This sounds stressful for you as well as your wife. My father-in-law lived with us for a few years in his 90s. The local council on aging provided some caretaking, though nothing extensive. I hope someone can help you obtain whatever services are available, even if it just fixing a lunch for you, doing up the dishes a few times a week, and providing a visitor. Being a caretaker can be tiring and isolating, so please take care of yourself too.

My husband does so much for me. I am sure she is frustrated and loves and appreciates all you do. Hugs to both of you. Stay strong.

them and I have to try to keep them as low as I can because they cause bad constipation which, in my limited understanding might help. And there have been times with me, (because I also have severe pain in my gut and problems making it to the bathroom sometimes) that I will take them to make myself stop going.

I am sorry for both of you having to go through all this. And since she is 72 she should qualify for help through Medicare. With my mom they came a few times a week and gave her a shower and made lunch etc. It was great for me to get a break. As far as cleaning etc maybe if you called a few nursing homes or assisted living homes and find out how they take care of things. They might have some inside information.

I really hope things get better for you 2.

Maryaya, Kathy has taken oxycontin, 20 mg AM and 10 mg PM, for nearly seven years. I don't understand why she won't go to another pain specialist. (She's stubborn as a rock - which won't move no matter how one encourages it). It's never given her constipation.

I do appreciate the suggestions, including Medicare and calling nursing homes (great idea).

Thank you.

I hope that just being here and offering sympathy for you and your wife is some help. We are going through our own health crises in our household. We are 79 and 75. Take all the help you can get. You have my love and support, and my husband's, too.

I am very sorry to hear you're having your own troubles. I hope with all my heart that you have help.

I'm 61, and because I'm relatively able-bodied (and extremely grateful for it), I do everything possible. Most of what she needs. I have a lot of help from my sister (our roommate; she is selfless).

Thanks to both of you for your love and support.

My mom had diverticulosis and had several incidents while I was her caregiver. It bothered her a great deal that her son had to clean her up, but I never minded. I was just glad that I had two kids of my own and knew what to do. She would have been 101 years old tomorrow.

Be strong and cherish everyday.

I try, Grumpy. I am most aware of cherishing every day. The strength doesn't come as easy.

Thank you. n/t

and it's so sad to see them struggle.

I hope you can accept my cyber hugs in place of advice and hope that these days end with some peace in her heart and soul that you gave her a good life.

and your good wishes.

Have you tried marijuana for the anxiety?

Just thinking positive thoughts for you and your wife.

a couple of weeks ago. Although they relieved the anxiety somewhat, they also made me walk a little like a drunk. With a bum knee, that's not good. Perhaps I should cut them in half.

Thanks for thinking of it. Also thank you for the positive thoughts.

I saw a joke about this once, and the nugget I got from it is that marijuana food comes in different strengths and has different effects on the body. Some people only need a little, some enjoy taking a lot. Since you're not trying to get high, I think it makes sense to play with the dosage 'til you get something perfect for you. You deserve self-care, and if this is it - make it work for you.

Also, it goes without saying - once you get it where you want it, stick with the type and brand, check the label (I've heard the labels aren't perfect.) know what amount of chemical works for your body.

I want the best for you and your wife.

Hugs.

Our community feels your pain. We are here for you.

Without a doubt though, Kathy is fortunate to have yourself as her loving partner and I'll bet you feel the same about her as well.

I'm beaming as much positive energy your way as I can muster.
Bless you both.

for the positive thoughts and for the beamed energy.

...and yes of course, it's going to be very hard on you.

I believe it's true when they say that caring for someone else begins with caring for yourself, so that you can keep up the physical and emotional strength needed to do what is so important for the both of you.

Thank you for your kind words.

...you can't be doing any part of it "wrong", because you're doing it out of love.

We are with you on this journey. Take care.

Thank you for your hugs.

stress. Hugs o you both.

For kids it can help. That stuff seems to be good for a lot of things

I'm so sorry. This must be terrifying to watch.

I appreciate your blessing.

I apologize for the delay in responding to you all, and that I haven't got to everyone yet. I will.

Meantime, thank you all for all you have said and suggested and all of the love and strength you have offered.

You have a lot on your plate.

Bless you both. I was one of my mom's caregivers we had to take care of her at home in the last few months of her life and not get the help we needed because we knew we'd lose our house if we got her on Medicaid. We managed to keep our house but any hour we got some relief from the worst of how she was doing it was as good as the Klonopin I've been taking for decades.....

I understand about the short spaces of relief.

PS Mine is Ativan

side if the bed.

and I truly appreciate it.

The only problem is that once she does get to the bathroom and has her pants down, it's instantly all over the toilet and the floor. We've discussed a bedside commode, and agree that we don't want that kind of mess in the bedroom, especially that close to the bed. (There's very little room between her side of the bed and the wall. Small bedroom.)

Thanks for your advice, though, Karadeniz.

I am so sorry you and she are going through this. I experienced something similar caring for my mother during the end stages of her dementia. Not the same condition, but some of the same experiences. Trying times indeed, and my heart goes out to you both.

It must've been very hard for you, caring for your mother.

Thank you very much for the caring in your heart.