I'm just having such a hard time with the pain.
Nothing is working. Not the percocet or the morphine. I feel like it's making me crazy. I do a lot of deep breathing and visualization, but it's so pervasive. I'm completely shut in. I can't even go downstairs. I have to keep my leg elevated all the time. Oddly, I'm glad I live alone. I'm all set up upstairs with a mini fridge/freezer and microwave and toaster oven, but I don't feel like eating much of anything. I'm waiting to get into the pain clinic at either Fletcher Allen in Burlington VT or Dartmouth Hitchcock in Hanover NH, but that won't happen (even with the priority referral for another 10 days to two weeks.
I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingertips.
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jaysunb
(11,856 posts)visualize good times and pleasant thoughts....my thoughts are with you. 
Warpy
(113,131 posts)but you have to focus on hanging on until you start going to that pain clinic. They have treatments at their disposal like intraspinal pumps with long acting morphine analogs and nerve blocks that the average doc in practice doesn't have. They can very likely come up with something for you that will get the screaming pain down to a dull roar, at the very least.
In the meantime, can someone get you some Ensure or SlimFast? Sometimes those shakes will go down even when the pain makes you feel like you're going to puke and you do need to keep your nutrition up so the pain people can do their magic.
They'll also introduce you to non drug methods to help the drugs along. I do jhana meditation, myself, and it does work when nothing else seems to.
Good luck. Pain clinic people have a very good chance at making you able to cope well enough to start living again. You just need to hang on long enough to get there.
And if it gets to the point where you are suicidal, don't hesitate to get to an ER. An admission for pain control is not out of the question, either.
hedgehog
(36,286 posts)it's something that wipes out your life. Wish I could do more than send you vibes!
hedgehog
(36,286 posts)but sometimes for post-operative pain, ibuprofen works better than any narcotic. I think it's the anti-inflammatory action that does it. Probably not useful for you, but if your doctor approves, worth a try?
Way, way better than aspirin, tylenol, or naproxen (Aleve). Can cause GI irritation, usually not.
cali
(114,904 posts)too much bleeding in surgery and post op. but thanks so much for your kind thoughts.
hedgehog
(36,286 posts)We're thinking of you.
cali
(114,904 posts)but damn. just damn. bad morning following bad night. and people have done so much for me. My son is going to the doc's to pick up a new pain med. I don't even know what the new med is. I don't care. I just want something to help a bit. thanks again.
hedgehog
(36,286 posts)
auntAgonist
(17,257 posts)I'm SO sorry you're hurting.
thinking of you.
aA
kesha
cali
(114,904 posts)but I'm hanging in there and I thank you so very much for your kind thoughts. it helps.
Taverner
(55,476 posts)Fentanyl, Dilaudid or some other PK?
Sometimes you have to mix up the meds...