Support, whether through AA, or something similar makes all the difference. Good luck.

Once and alcoholic always an Alcoholic, for us there is no middle ground......You can be a "recovering" alcoholic,but never a "recovered" alcoholic.

Go to some meetings.

15 and never again.
Psychiatrist told me to go to some
Meetings for a couple of months and then never go back. He hit the nail on the head. Never took a hard drug again and that was 33 years ago.
He talked me into going back to college and getting a degree. That really helped learning about human behavior.
There is a pain in there somewhere I was trying to kill. Found out what it was, faced it, moved on and never looked back.
I can name at least a half dozen people I went to those meetings with that kept going until they screwed up, ODed and died.
For me there are no Higher Powers. Shit just happens, no big plan, no rhyme or reason to any of it. There
Is only what you do with it.

But Hey that’s just me.

It is very rare that I think that I would like a drink, and when I do, I try to remember the pain and anger and the hangovers that came with it, and the feeling passes.

You just have to keep slugging.

This group will be there for you always. I have a friend who got sober with his wife in their mid 30s, they've now been sober 51 years. They both still attend several meetings a week.

Just wondering if you experienced significant weight gain while/after attending AA? If so, it sounds like you may have traded one addictive behavior for another without addressing the underlying reason for the behavior. It might be time to seek professional mental health services.

Did your bariatric surgeon know about your alcoholism? Were you given a psychological evaluation prior to gastric bypass? A good bariatric surgeon will address both physical and mental fitness to ensure a successful long term outcome for weight loss surgery. I speak from first hand knowledge. I had gastric bypass 9 years ago, lost 100 pounds and have kept it off…without drugs or alcohol. Before surgery it was about a year long process involving the surgeons, nutritionists, psychiatrist, psychologists and continued two years after surgery.

PS…is “MM” medical cannabis?

at least if as I said in the last 5 or 6 years I had one I had one. It has stopped being a problem and that is not unusual for people with problem drinking. I spoke to some counselors about it years ago when I was trying to get a friend in treatment and she told me that they were leaning off of complete abstinence and going to a more cognitive approach, I can tell it worked for those years and went to shit after the surgery

I'm insulin dependent, so sweeter mocktails aren't as good for me. I've come to liking NA beer as it blends in socially. I focus on being ready to drive when I talk about it as it was never about recovery for myself. My coed fraternity from college had a reunion and I pushed the NA beer and clearly labeled mocktails and we made an effort to court and support some who are in recovery. I feel that might have helped others.

Been attending meetings for 4 1/2 years. Whatever works for you.

And what he said that night is one of many messages that will always stick with me. He said that alcoholism is like a "sleeping tiger." It's always there, waiting to be awakened. And when it's awakened with that very first drink, no matter how long you've been sober, you don't "start over," you're immediately right where you left off. I'll always remember those wise words and they're one thing that keeps me sober.

She was the best, was patient with me and told me what to do. She took me to meetings, we did all the As - AA, Alanon, CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) and OA - she went to OA and it helped me, too. My problem was just the opposite, when I drank - even when I cooked - I didn't eat. I got down to 105 lbs. at one point and hospitalization was suggested. So OA was helpful with that - and I met some really nice people.