I want to help but I feel powerless.

My sister had been a functioning alcoholic for as long as I remember. I didn’t do anything about it. Rarely I made a gentle comment, mostly I ignored it. She retired about a year ago, suffered the loss of a close friend and beloved pet. She became no longer ‘functional’. I finally got the courage do do something. My husband had serious health scare last summer (much better now). She said many times she wanted to fly out to come help. I put her off until he was back on his feet then told her I would send her a ticket. Despite all those offers to help, she didn’t take me up on the offer. After I couple weeks I realized she was in no shape to get herself together and fly out. So I told her I would fly a caregiver to come help her, and the care giver would be there in two days time. She protested ‘I need more time etc’. I wouldn’t take no for an answer. The caregiver arrived and found conditions far, far worse than I could have imagined. I won’t describe them, but imagine the worst. After a couple of days the caregiver managed to get her on the plane. The day after arriving I confronted her and told her she was out of control and needed help and that she needed inpatient rehab. I was relieved she didn’t put up much resistance. Two days after starting rehab I was called and told she wanted to leave. Here comes the hard part for me. I arrived there and asked her where she wanted to go and she said back home with me and my husband. I said no, that was not an option. If she wanted to leave rehab I would buy her a plane ticket and take her to the airport. I said she could go back to living in squalor (I had not before spoken about how awful her conditions were at her home), I did not hold back. Somehow I calmly described how bad it was. She was shocked I would say she couldn’t come back to our house. After an hour or so of tears and silence. She said okay, and went back in to the rehab facility. She stayed 60 days and now has been sober for 6 months. We helped her move across country to where we live. I share this because I finally faced it head on and it helped her decide to get help. She did all the hard work herself in recovery and so far it is really working for her.

Best of luck with your oldest. 💕

average people afford it.

I live in the southwest where there are a lot of very fancy, beautiful places that cost nearly $30,000 a month. But even so, it was expensive. It is a crying shame that in house rehab isn’t available to all. I even called around to try and find one that Medicare covered. Most places didn’t even return my call, and a couple called back and said they didn’t take it. If your child has medical insurance from their job, most cover rehab. I did a google search for free rehab and found this website. Not sure how much help it is 🙂

https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/free

Imagine where she would be now if you weren't in her life.

Good work, sis!

By finally stepping up and confronting her and trying to help I was able to let go of my guilt for not trying to help her earlier 🙂

Best wishes in your battle.

(they both live in same city, while I'm six hours away) and it is a struggle for both, being that C still denies a problem exists, despite being given drugs for her addiction, despite constant trips to the hospital for alcohol-related injuries, etc.

One of the biggest barriers to recovery is C's constant denial of her alcoholism, and constant desire to rely on others for her basic needs, and by this, C wants you to do everything for them.

Don't fall for this. Insist that they be responsible for every facet of their lives and don't enable them ... this is one of the harder things to do, especially for those of us that very close to such people and have that strong desire to help others. You must be strong too. These like C must relearn being responsible again. They must literally adopt a whole new way of living life, w/o the drink.

My best to all, and thanks so much for posting this (and the responses to it)...I plan to send this to my sister B as one of my regular weekly encouragement brother to sister encouragement chats that we have every week.

on my part"

Great sentence...We cannot be arrogant with our addictions. We all must be guarded...Today, I had a thought about the booze, I prayed for a moment, and I realized ..."..no not today."

Yes, I am a booze addict as well as an overeater..Oh well..