Addiction & Recovery

kozar

(2,924 posts) Mon Dec 9, 2019, 04:38 PM Dec 2019

my world since my meltdown

Firstly,,ty for the support. Since then, here has what happened,

I am still going to sing my song in the church,in fact, every time the choir practiced with me, they were rehearsing their Christmas Cantata. And I managed to learn that music and words and will join them Jan 15 for their Cantata.

I have been working even harder, on state rules for HCP individuals. Specifically, mentally challenged. Because of My Daughter. Here are the abridged rules I know, because of my work and I am able to look at these rules as a Dad. I can hire whoever I want for "respite "care at rate I choose. We chose 15 an hour here in Tn,, most care workers get about 8-10 an hour.
But,the big but, My daughter has 40 hours per month during the week approved for personal and hygiene care. But that has to be though an agency that state supplies. We have adhered to that for years. Agency sends a care giver,, my daughter learns to trust them, and caregiver quits through the agency and my daughter suffers and another care giver comes in ,Mom and I train the new one and rinse repeat x 10,20 whatever. Bottom Line, adhering to state rules. Mom and I will not EVER leave Daughter for anything until we know she is comfortable.

So today I made progress, I have been fighting for and saying,,you will pay anyone for respite that I hire. But Hygiene and personal hours have to be agencies. Why can't I hire who I know is comfortable with Daughter? and will answer to me.not state when they decide to leave.

Today out of nowhere, Rep called me,Senator called me,,Gov called me,but I sent him to VM. they are listening. I knew the rules because of what I did as a profession. I am ,and have brought up THEIR rules as to why this will save them dollars and give my Daughter better care. I am waiting on 1 more call to confirm, per all the other calls I had today, that I can do this.

I woke this morn feeling defeated,,thought of a drink upon waking. Resisted that urge and these good things happened. Point is, there are times we need to fight, our addictive urges first, and then our beliefs with our addictive safety net.. at end,, This was a good fecking day.

Koz

8 replies

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my world since my meltdown (Original Post) kozar Dec 2019 OP

Glad this was a good fecking day, koz. elleng Dec 2019 #1

Me too. efhmc Dec 2019 #2

We absolutely cannot let the bastards get us down. We cannot let not enough be good enough ... marble falls Dec 2019 #3

ty kozar Dec 2019 #5

Great news mate ... congrats and keep on keeping on :) nt mr_lebowski Dec 2019 #4

music kinda came to a trade kozar Dec 2019 #6

to all in this group, kozar Dec 2019 #7

Update number 4,5,or 6 kozar Dec 2019 #8

elleng

(136,833 posts)

1. Glad this was a good fecking day, koz.

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Mon Dec 9, 2019, 04:43 PM

Dec 2019

efhmc

(15,037 posts)

2. Me too.

Reply to elleng (Reply #1)

Mon Dec 9, 2019, 05:08 PM

Dec 2019

marble falls

(62,521 posts)

3. We absolutely cannot let the bastards get us down. We cannot let not enough be good enough ...

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Mon Dec 9, 2019, 05:11 PM

Dec 2019

being a good advocate is hard calling but you make the world better for your daughter and for the next dad/mom/family member finding themselves on the same kind of boat you are better and easier.

We all need to be as much like you as we can be. I've been through it myself but not anywhere near to the extent you and your wife have. You make me know I was right in steeling up for a fight.

kozar

(2,924 posts)

5. ty

Reply to marble falls (Reply #3)

Mon Dec 9, 2019, 07:39 PM

Dec 2019

I, and we(wife and I),,have decided its time to fight for our beliefs,, we have gone through nerves before court, but we had truth on our side,we won that, and now seems I am winning beliefs about state rules regarding mentally challenged people. not final yet,,lets keep our fingers and toes crossed.

Koz

mr_lebowski

(33,643 posts)

4. Great news mate ... congrats and keep on keeping on :) nt

Reply to kozar (Original post)

Mon Dec 9, 2019, 06:51 PM

Dec 2019

kozar

(2,924 posts)

6. music kinda came to a trade

Reply to mr_lebowski (Reply #4)

Mon Dec 9, 2019, 07:43 PM

Dec 2019

Bad time of year I told Pastor at first,,Cantatas and holiday things going on. So we made a deal, I'll learn Cantata and we will sing my song sometime in January,after holidays. Choir and i and frankly the director ,who has a great sense of humor. have all bough tin to the agreement, Cantata next Sunday. I do need to find black slacks... but this has been a blast and a very needed distraction/focus for me.

thanks Lebowski and all,,

Koz

kozar

(2,924 posts)

7. to all in this group,

Reply to kozar (Reply #6)

Mon Dec 9, 2019, 07:46 PM

Dec 2019

thank you,, I hope and pray for happiest holidays for you and yours,, you all made mine better already.

kozar

(2,924 posts)

8. Update number 4,5,or 6

Reply to mr_lebowski (Reply #4)

Fri Dec 13, 2019, 06:20 PM

Dec 2019

Incredibly hard week, that ended so well. We had to sue a person in court who was paid by state to take care of my Tess, while Mrs K and I could go out. Won that court case on Monday, but our lawyer said we would have to go through garnishment to get our money. Lo and Behold, her lawyer called our lawyer yesterday and offered a payment plan,, which is EXACTLY same plan we offered before court. SO we took it,,Tess will get her money.
Music wise, I learned a 76 page Cantata for Sunday in 8 days to sing with a choir. It was the trade for the choir to sing a song with me as lead, that is on my bucket list. Great group of people, I am having a ball! I do need to sing bass in choir, which is at absolute bottom of my range, and after 4, 2 hr practice s this week, my throat hurts, my stomach hurts(diaphragm). but at least the actual Cantata is only 50 mins long. It has been a great week. no meltdowns,no drinking. A great positive week, once again, I thank you guys too. You are a big part of my successes along this road.

Koz

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