Was tough. Discovered a lot about my friends and family, the healthcare system, cancer etc. Lost a big bunch of good friends, cancer too, but somehow I survived.
Right now I have a leg thing thats keeping me home, serious pain. Everyone thinks it this...or that. But its not cancer related.

Looking again and it might be. Sorry to hijack the thread if thats the case.

although many who post here are in AA/NA or in other 12 step groups. This group is not exclusively AA/NA, nor exclusively 12 step:

https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=about&forum=1144

my error.

as is AA and NA.

And the ToS for this group includes friends and family too.

I have pulled pieces and make choices about what works for me today. Rational Recovery, online groups, and the fact that it was too damned cold and snowy today for an arthritic woman to safely put my walker in the snow. What worked for me today was a mix of things.
What works for someone else, I'm not fit to judge. Their joy in their day, I will celebrate though.

reach out, there is someone who knows and cares

Happy New Year to all!

Last edited Fri Jan 5, 2018, 11:44 AM - Edit history (10)

maybe my worst year in 2 decades

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

On Edit: and tired worn-out support group pablum telling me how I'm supposed to think and feel, or telling me how 2017 was for me, as if I couldn't decide that for myself, isn't the least bit helpful. One ought to be able to say how one's year was or how one is feeling without getting a superior talk-down lecture about wrong-think or being too self-centered. It may be "insightful" in some contexts (though it has been said in the rooms many times for many decades), but as a response to someone saying "2017 ... is maybe my worst year in 2 decades", it is downright bizarre, particularly in a group whose purpose is to be supportive (speaking of down thread, not about the post I'm replying to).

As far as taking myself out of the center, it's a bit hard to do that when it's up to me to deal with and fix or at least ameliorate the disaster.

Rain is a bad thing if you're holding a picnic or a parade. Rain is a good thing if you're a farmer.

Actually, rain is just rain. It is intrinsically and inherently neutral; neither good or bad.

Good and bad are value judgements which we place on rain, and we place those judgements based on how the rain affects us. Rain is bad if it ruins my parade or picnic. Rain is good if it waters my crops.

Living sober and at peace with myself and the world requires taking myself out of the center of my universe. It means that I cannot judge everything by it's effect on me. Doing that is not bad or good, but it doesn't work for me. It creates anger, frustration, distress, and other conditions that lead me to drink to drown those feelings. I could live with those feelings if they were real feelings, but they are not real feelings. They are exaggerated feelings. The rain was not created for the express purpose of ruining my parade.

2017 was not a "bad year." It was just a year like any other year. Good things happened and bad things happened. Trump was not elected for the sole purpose of ruining my life. If I choose to let his election ruin my life then then the wreckage of my life is the result of my choice, not the result of 2017 being a "bad year."

I am not enslaved by events. I have choices, and that freedom, in large part, is created by no longer having myself at the center of my own universe. By not viewing everything and every event through the lens of its effect on me. That's been working and keeping me sober for 35 years now.

These 2 sentences are very special...

"I am not enslaved by events. I have choices, and that freedom, in large part, is created by no longer having myself at the center of my own universe. By not viewing everything and every event through the lens of its effect on me.....

Thank You Again..

Stuart