attorney.

from any possible future accusations by your brother that you are trying to manipulate your mother. If there is a doctor's letter stating your mother is competent that problem is much less likely to come up. The lawyer is thinking ahead; he's almost certainly seen those situations before.

My mother had dementia and I had to get a doctors note attesting this. I also ended up going to court tp get a conservatorship for her. Every other year I had to show how the money was spent. The threat of her being conserved and a lawyer from the attorney will force your brother to show exoenses. The only bad thing about doing a conservatorship is it is costly because of attorney fees every two years to get a court review.

Your brother could argue that your mother is not in fact capable of making her own decisions, and therefore anything she signs is invalid. But if you first have the doctor's note proving she is capable, then that could prevent a nasty legal battle later.

He is a lawyer. I'm going to assume he does not have a medical degree. He may believe you that your mom has the mental capacity to make that decision, but he can not legally make that diagnosis. He is not a doctor.

If something is brought up in court, the first question an opposing lawyer is going to ask would be about her mental capacity at the time. The lawyer can not testify to her mental capacity, he is not qualified. By getting a doctor to sign off, the doctor can testify to her mental capacity, and whatever she signs will hold up in court.

The lawyer is certainly covering his ass a little bit, but he is also looking out for you. You are going to a lawyer because you want something official that will hold up in court, and he is taking the steps to ensure it will hold up in court.

the attorney is only protecting himself, you, and your Mom. There have been plenty of elderly with dementia, who were exploited by their children, spouses, guardians, etc over the years. Your brother, or another relative, could cause a lot of problems and accuse you of manipulating your Mom. So think of it as crossing your T's and dotting your I's. So if someone wants to make a case that your Mom was not in full mental capacity, you will have a piece of paper from a physician stating that she is mentally competent to make financial and life decisions for herself. The attorney has given you some good advice.

You don't say who you want to write and email. I assume it's your brother. Does he need to know why your Mom goes to see a doctor? If he asks, I would just say that she went in for a check-up. If he wants to know more, he can ask your Mom. And she can tell him, or not, as she pleases.

It sounds like your brother is hiding something and will attack whatever your attorney files for undue influence. Attorneys and judges are not medical experts and rely on doctors to say she is ok to make decisions. A judge is not just going to take your word that she is OK, they could be liable if they turn out to be wrong. We see a lot of people take advantage of their sick, disabled, and elderly family members.

If it is bad enough what your brother is doing then she should revoke the POA and sign one for you.

Don't be so hasty to label him an "asshole" just because he thinks you will need proof that she is competent to execute contracts and other legal documents.

Really, I do get it. I understand why you are upset but that attorney is looking out for you and your mom. He is covering all the bases. If you don't have that letter someone could challenge the change she wants made and that might not happen until after she is gone. I know it's a pain in the tail but better safe than sorry.

it seems to me typically careful lawyering. it protects the trust and it protects you. it could be important documentation to have, especially if at some later date she actually can't prove competence (sorry to point out something unpleasant, but alzheimer's or another stroke is always a possibility) and there's a dispute as to exactly when that happened.

*you* know that only her speech was affected, but that's not necessarily obvious to a lawyer, or a judge who doesn't know her nearly as well, if at all.

gone at it the way he did. He didn't start off by saying, "Just to protect yourself from being sued" or anything. He just went right in to telling her she should get a note from the doctor.

If he was doing his job both of us would have felt ok about it. As it was we were both insulted and I'm sure she felt hurt.

Go see another lawyer then.

Sibling tries to claim you were manipulating your mom, or that she was non compos mentis when she requested changes.

Good luck to you!