I don't question the love any globetrotting star has for her children. But because there's little explanation about exactly how super successful, celebrated women with children do it all, regular "real-life" moms -- many of whom step out of the workforce or let job opportunities and larger ambitions lie -- often look and feel like a bunch of slackers.

When a layoff and stagnant post-9/11 job market in New York led my husband to accept an offer in Maryland, I became a weekday single mother, left alone to juggle a long workday, a long and unreliable commute, a live-out nanny and a toddler I often saw awake for less than an hour a day. I quickly realized that I needed to live a different way and work a different way. Soon after quitting my Manhattan-based magazine job a second pregnancy (surprise, twins!) put me on bedrest. Three small children, including one with learning differences and therapy needs, kept me out of the workforce.

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The veil about how public figures "have it all" is occasionally lifted. Arianna Huffington, Michelle Obama, and MSNBC host/professor Melissa Harris-Perry have been open about depending on their mothers as live-in child care providers. Before Baltimore Mayor Martin O'Malley become the governor of Maryland, I interviewed his wife, Katie, a district court judge, and asked how the couple was able to manage two frontline careers and four kids. Their secret weapon: her nearby parents.

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In most families, it's financially essential to maintain or, in my case, reintroduce two incomes. By not being collectively honest about how Americans care for their kids and provide an income, most of us are left to perform the juggling act on our own and pretend we have it all under control.