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She really should smile more... (Original Post) Soph0571 Feb 2020 OP
K&R for visibility. nt tblue37 Feb 2020 #1
✔️ blm Feb 2020 #2
There's an Alan Parsons Project song called "You Don't Believe" that addresses these CaptYossarian Feb 2020 #3
Enthusiast KICK! (Or is that arrogant?) heh. Guilded Lilly Feb 2020 #4
You say arrogant... I say audacious :-) Hurrah!!!! Soph0571 Feb 2020 #10
I was just recently told I was "overly emotional" and "reacting disproportionately." Pacifist Patriot Feb 2020 #5
Oh behalf of the men in this world VWolf Feb 2020 #6
I quit my job last summer because of the same thing Soph0571 Feb 2020 #11
"To be fair in the last board meeting, me pounding the desk and shouting. . ." Collimator Feb 2020 #16
100% nt Soph0571 Feb 2020 #18
Excellent point. Pacifist Patriot Feb 2020 #22
I think I love you. Pacifist Patriot Feb 2020 #21
Lol! JudyM Feb 2020 #29
Now see, my response to such a statement would have been lunatica Feb 2020 #13
My reaction was... Pacifist Patriot Feb 2020 #20
Oh yeah! lunatica Feb 2020 #24
Ha ha! My husband recently said, "you're a sweet middle aged lady right up until your not" to me. Pacifist Patriot Feb 2020 #26
LOL! lunatica Feb 2020 #27
He's a "counterpuncher" who LITERALLY eats White House documents! Dukkha Feb 2020 #7
I clicked on your OP ready to fight with you lunatica Feb 2020 #8
LOL. Fisti cuffs at dawn? Or is that us being hysterical... Soph0571 Feb 2020 #9
MSNBC's Donny Deutsch described Warren as "strident" and "unlikeable" joost5 Feb 2020 #12
You know what strident is in the real world of brilliant women... Soph0571 Feb 2020 #14
KnR yonder Feb 2020 #15
... BlueMTexpat Feb 2020 #17
Please call me Soph Soph0571 Feb 2020 #19
Will do, Soph! BlueMTexpat Feb 2020 #25
LOL! lunatica Feb 2020 #28
Yes, the deck is totally tilted against women. lark Feb 2020 #23
He seems presidential. Sparkly Mar 2020 #30

CaptYossarian

(6,448 posts)
3. There's an Alan Parsons Project song called "You Don't Believe" that addresses these
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 11:01 AM
Feb 2020

differences, but it's in general terms, unrelated to the gender differences shown here.

The ultimate double standard. There were t-shirts in the 80s that said "A woman has to work twice as hard to receive half the credit."

Pacifist Patriot

(24,912 posts)
5. I was just recently told I was "overly emotional" and "reacting disproportionately."
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 12:10 PM
Feb 2020

My sin?

Telling my boss privately that I did not appreciate being interrupted in a leadership strategy meeting the previous day when I was trying to get an issue with another department head resolved. Yes, I am the lone female on the executive staff.

There were no tears involved. No raised voice. All I said was:

* I did not appreciate being shut down before I could finish what I was saying,
* the issue with the other department head still existed and would never be resolved if he didn't truly want the candor he said he wanted in that meeting,
* I expected the other department head to be held accountable for lying to everyone during that meeting about a particular situation - for which I had the documentary evidence of his lies in my hand.

That's overly emotional.

I was flabbergasted.

And I shouldn't have been.

VWolf

(3,944 posts)
6. Oh behalf of the men in this world
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 12:15 PM
Feb 2020

I apologize.

The double standard is so damn apparent to anyone who observes for a minute.

Soph0571

(9,685 posts)
11. I quit my job last summer because of the same thing
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 12:38 PM
Feb 2020

All male executive, apart from me, toxic masculinity bollocks... life it too short and luckily for me I am financially secure enough not to have to put up with it. To be fair in the last board meeting, me pounding the desk and shouting are you fucking kidding me, when they were trying to ignore my expertise, may have been a tad emotional...

Collimator

(1,875 posts)
16. "To be fair in the last board meeting, me pounding the desk and shouting. . ."
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 12:53 PM
Feb 2020

". . . may have been a tad emotional..."

Yes, it was. And if a man had done it, it would have been considered forceful. Maybe some people would have been taken aback, but the word "emotional" would not have been used with the scorn intended whenever that word is directed towards women.

Any Vulcan who passed Logic classes by the points of their ears could tell you that human males are the emotional ones. It is just that their emotions are --while perhaps expressed differently-- always valued differently.

I know that I shared this on another thread long ago, but I read about a sign posted in a women's shelter.

"Men are afraid that women are going to laugh at them; women are afraid that men are going to kill them."

Yes, I am perfectly willing to qualify that statement with #notallmen, because I really don't think that poorly of that half of humanity. But that statement, with all the emotional context that it touches upon, really describes the problem that patriarchy enables.

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
13. Now see, my response to such a statement would have been
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 12:40 PM
Feb 2020

confrontational, albeit in a polite way. I hope yours was too.

I would have been very sure to look him directly in the eyes and thrown it back in his face (very politely) by asking him to explain what he had just said. Asking, “Please tell me in what way am I being overly emotional when all I’m saying is that I expect the same respect you give the men employees. If you expect me to do my job as a professional and at your request, then I expect to be supported.”

Then watch him falling all over himself pretending he never meant that. But chances are he’ll never do that again.

This isn’t just talk. I’ve actually done this. Sometimes in front of other people if that’s when the boss chose to be disrespectful.

It works. You get the respect you demand. This is what men understand. It’s their language and their mindset. If you’re talking to monkeys, you gotta do it in monkey talk.

Pacifist Patriot

(24,912 posts)
20. My reaction was...
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 01:48 PM
Feb 2020

to raise my eyebrow and say, "think about what you just said very very carefully and tell me if that's really where you want to go with this." (We've worked together 10 years.)

I think he got the message, but who knows. I've raised my three boys to respect women, I'm not about to try to raise one older than me.

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
24. Oh yeah!
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 01:54 PM
Feb 2020

The Dreaded Mom Look!

I’ve used it to great benefit many times. And it works every time. Now that I’m 71 the mixture of age and the dreaded Mom Look is even more powerful. I’m a sweet middle age lady until I’m not.



Pacifist Patriot

(24,912 posts)
26. Ha ha! My husband recently said, "you're a sweet middle aged lady right up until your not" to me.
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 02:33 PM
Feb 2020

Dukkha

(7,341 posts)
7. He's a "counterpuncher" who LITERALLY eats White House documents!
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 12:23 PM
Feb 2020
Trump Ate Sensitive Document After Cohen Meeting
https://www.newsweek.com/trump-ate-sensitive-document-after-cohen-meeting-former-white-house-aide-1069399

But she's a violent bully thug for disposing of speech notes


Then the triggered snowflake repeats a "pants on fire" lie that her tearing it up was "illegal"
https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2020/feb/07/donald-trump/donald-trump-says-nancy-pelosis-speech-tear-was-il/

lunatica

(53,410 posts)
8. I clicked on your OP ready to fight with you
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 12:23 PM
Feb 2020


It used to be even worse when I was young, at the beginning of the women’s movement. What really makes me mad is that everything women have fought for and gained is being deliberately undermined and eroded.

The struggle continues.

Soph0571

(9,685 posts)
9. LOL. Fisti cuffs at dawn? Or is that us being hysterical...
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 12:32 PM
Feb 2020

I am tired of it. Hence the graphic... even male allies fail in this from time to time!!! And I hate it when women say look at my resting bitch face... why are they buying into that narrative. It is literally just your face dammit!!!

joost5

(421 posts)
12. MSNBC's Donny Deutsch described Warren as "strident" and "unlikeable"
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 12:39 PM
Feb 2020

Enough with that BS. SUCH a double standard.

Soph0571

(9,685 posts)
14. You know what strident is in the real world of brilliant women...
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 12:41 PM
Feb 2020

...she has a plan that she articulates with confidence...

lark

(24,339 posts)
23. Yes, the deck is totally tilted against women.
Mon Feb 10, 2020, 01:50 PM
Feb 2020

Men fear us and dislike us for being independent and too many other women follow in their parents footsteps and treat women badly as well. Women in the South, especially those from Evangelical homes, are totally taught to devalue other women (women be subservient to your husband type crap) and that women should have no control or power - even over their own bodies.

Guess I'm lucky that didn't happen with me. My parents were Evangelical, but mom was raised in a family of 8 girls and 4 boys and those girls were very strong in their sisterhood. I was raised to value and respect & cherish other women and told they will be with you when no one else is. I'm thankful for that aspect of my upbringing but discarded the Evangelical crap when I was a teen.

Sparkly

(24,352 posts)
30. He seems presidential.
Thu Mar 5, 2020, 12:56 PM
Mar 2020

She just doesn't have that presidential thing. I just don't know what it is, exactly. Hm....

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