Not just women, but men, are often the victims of the patriarchy

All you women here, at least the feminist movement has given you rights, awareness, and at least advocacy. Males that are victims usually have much less if any advocacy.

Take for instance the first issue: Male rape victims

Men are raped just as much as women, but men get much less sympathy if any attention compared to women.

And this doesn't include outside of prisons:




There's no one out there advocating for male rape victims, thus its not taken seriously. Not to mention the "boys club" insider atmosphere with the male gender that guys are much less likely to tell on other guys. Thus, a male rape victim is going to get much less help than a female rape victim, and is much more likely to be on his own in dealing with the trauma of rape than a woman.

Which leads to the next thing:


Society is much less sympathetic and caring to men

Women can much more freely talk about personal things, but men, no. Women can cry and get sympathetic people all around her, but a man? No. Men are forced by society to hold it all in, because they are reminded by society since little that it will not be sympathetic if they are in trouble, thus a male is burned with coldness on the inside since young. Men get much or all of the credit with success but get much or all of the blame in failure. If men are victims, it is their fault, with less chance of getting help than women. The alpha males at the top of society are emotionally brutal to all of the males below.

Norah Vincent, a lesbian woman who spent a year living as a guy (and wrote the book: "Self Made Man", gives a lot of insight from a woman's point of view.

She says here:





And excerpts from her book from goodreads.com:

http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/16532.Norah_Vincent




Men have to always put up this image of confidence, of calmness and assuredness, and if a man doesn't then he's basically committing heresy, violating his own right to even nominal respect (at least a straight man, gay men get more leeway nowadays.) And it's not just other men but women as well, who most often are attracted to confidence, and that means men who are able to best put up that front, and men that don't, may have a sympathetic girlfriend, but eventually she will get pissed off if the guy is not masculine enough for her desire. Men, especially straight men, are heavily punished for not conforming to masculine ideals, and hardly anyone out there is sympathetic to them.

This article from salon:



And if a guy is not good looking and/or masculine and charming and/or smart and good in making money, and including if short, he's f***ed in terms of ability to get a woman and no one will have sympathy with him on that, except maybe porn toy manufacturers. At least women have other women to talk and confide with, and often women can deal with being alone. Men much less often have friends that they can confide with.

And once again, there's hardly anyone advocating for men in this because if men do so, it will be seen as a mark against one's own image.


Number 3 is gender freedom. This is pretty easy to recognize: thanks to the feminist movement, women have freedom expressing their masculine sides. While there is still disdain and perhaps social pressure against, its still relatively light compared to men. At least in the western united states, I've often seen butch lesbian women working in places. How many cross dressing men have you seen working in places? Even the way that gender transitioning transgender women are treated is light compared to straight men that dare be feminine. Maybe someone like Dennis Rodman, who has already proven his manhood, is given more leeway in cross dressing, but not so to other guys. It's probably also in part due to anti-gay hysteria (which in part could be a means of making men to conform to rigid social standards.) So thus in combination with men not being able to express emotion compared to women, men also have to hide their feminine side except maybe some parts (like being caring and nurturing) if they are with women (and many are often not), and even then, say, a significant other, often will get pissed off like in the last one, if the guy is not masculine enough for her needs. And there's not going to be any advocacy in this part, for obvious reasons. Look at all the ridicule of the "metrosexual" and that IMO was hardly feminine.


Number 4 is competition. While there is competition within women (especially when it comes to dating and protecting ones's partner, among other examples), competition is more a way of life for men than women. Everything is seemingly a competition, including things as small as intense debates that break out from small discussions. Men continually have to maintain their masculine image, and that includes winning in competitions and challenges. Much of male social activities eventually decide the pecking order, and it is pretty harsh to be on the lower end of the pecking order in any group. Passive males are much more punished than passive females.


So thus, there's always the pressure to succeed and win, or to not stand down and protect turf, even in small group competitions. You always have your image being challenged, and I'd bet for many that's continual anxiety. Hardly anything, especially among western straight men, can be seen outside the context of competition. You can't just do something and expect that your image will not be modified based on the outcome. I would bet that women are significantly more egalitarian in general, especially women that aren't the highly ambitious career women (who, studies show, tend to have long ring fingers compared to their index finger, vs nearly equal length for most women) and also that women do more activities that are not competitive.

This is also probably why men feel threatened by a dominant woman, along with the chauvinism that goes on within the male gender, it is thus seen as an embarrassment and a mark against a male's image if he allows a woman to dominate or beat him.

And of course, when it comes to competition, no one cares about this, because it's seen as men's nature to be competitive.


I will say this, that perhaps much like poor white southerners who never get help because of their racism and denial of being a victim, males are still stuck with their male chauvinism while being hurt by their own gender. However, male chauvinism from my own experience is pretty much burned into the head of males since little as part of the "being a member of the male gender club" and is done so through things like "you throw like a girl" and other sayings that instill the idea that females are inferior. I don't think it is guys fault for that, its the male society instilling it in the new members of the club, and the chain reaction continues with each new generation.

But all you women here should appreciate what you have that men don't, and that male privilege can often also be a curse.