You KNOW what state man thought he swiped hydrocodone pills. But they weren't.
They were ones that instead helped with a certain kind of movement.
A Florida Man is behind bars after stealing what he thought were Hydrocodone pills, but which turned out to actually be over-the-counter laxatives and not powerful prescription opioids, according to a criminal complaint.
Cops allege that Peter Hans Emery, 56, took the pills from a lock box at the victims Pinellas Park home Thursday morning. The complaint lists Emerys home address as the site of the theft itself. His relationship with the 49-year-old victim is unknown.
Emery, cops say, was recorded by a video camera entering the victims lock box, selecting a pill bottle, pouring pills into his hand, and then leaving. The pill container was labeled Hydrocodone-Acetaminophen.
However, Emery subsequently discovered that he had not swiped painkillers. The pill bottle actually contained dosages of Equate Gentle Laxative, which promises predictable overnight relief from constipation.
Did the cops follow the....ah....never mind....