O: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of Red Leicester, sir.

C: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?

O: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.

C: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.

O: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.

C: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?

O: Sorry, sir.

C: Red Windsor?

O: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.

C: Ah. Stilton?

O: Sorry.

C: Gruyere? Emmental?

O: No.

C: Any Norwegian Jarlsberger, per chance?

O: No.

C: Liptauer?

O: No.

C: Lancashire?

O: No.

C: White Stilton?

O: No.

C: Danish Blue?

O: No.

C: Double Gloucester?

O: (pause) No.

C: Cheshire?

O: No.

C: Dorset Blue Vinney?

O: No.

C: Brie, Roquefort, Pont-l'Eveque, Port Salut, Savoyard, Saint-Paulin, Carre-de-L'Est, Boursin, Bresse Bleu, Perle de Champagne?

O: No.

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