...story. Might even have been here on DU. There was a post about a man who got the same part stuck in a knothole of a section of a wooden park bench.

One of the responses offered this opinion (possible slight paraphrase) - "If there is a round hole in anything, you can bet there is some guy, somewhere, saying to himself, "I wonder if I could stick my dick in there?"

The hole where one puts the umbrella shaft in. Maybe he was putting the table together and read the directions wrong. It'd be easy to miss the keyword "umbrella". Then there was the Wisconsin guy whose actions led to a state law that made making love to roadkill illegal. Then there was the dude who was caught by his girlfriend banging the Thanksgiving turkey in the kitchen. On Live Leak there's a video of a guy screwing the exhaust pipe of a car.

What was said in the last paragraph of your post is true and supported by many thousands of eye witness accounts, police reports and videos.

Eewwww. Eewwww. EEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

I think Freud was wrong about penis envy. Penises seem to get (some, anyway) of their owners into a whole lot of trouble. I don't think I'd want one.

When I was in nursing school, I worked weekends as a unit clerk in the emergency department of my university's hospital. I was on the minor trauma side. I came in one morning to find several people either snickering or with odd facial expressions. I wondered what was up. The surgical resident assigned to the urology service was writing up a penile injury sustained by a man in his 50s who had sneaked into his sister's home in the middle of the night and attempted to get his jollies from her vacuum cleaner. He had used the mechanized carpet brush from a Kenmore model that had the name "the Beater Bar Power Mate."

It'd be sooo embarrassing to be laying shot on the floor with a Kenmore Beater Bar Power Mate attached to one's penis.

I could tell some stories myself but that was a long time ago and the stories will die with me.

I don't know what was funnier, the guy busted for pleasuring the umbrella hole in the family picnic table or the one caught ravishing pumpkins in a field. This one is pretty good, too, if only because it required the saw.

by the fire department? Bet he never saw that coming.

...saw that coming."

Intentional double entendre, or coincidental? Let's hope the firefighters didn't have to clean up any bodily fluids.