Calling her a female dog is probably the most offensive thing he could do.

Komet! Hey buddy, i found the bungee mouse!

I had a rather counterculture acquaintance who never seemed to find his feet post-high school, managed to score a 4F in the draft, and was living in his mother's "mother in law" apartment while working occasionally.

He had a cat--a nice cat, probably nicer than he deserved, as he was rather lackadaisical with his feeding styles (massive tub of friskies, that sort of thing--the cat never went hungry but wasn't coddled).

He had a few friends over, went to get his stash, which he kept in an old jacket slung over a chair, and, not finding it, began accusing all assembled of stealing it. He got so infuriated he even went and accused his long suffering mom of coming in to 'his' place and rifling through his shit. I thought that was a bit bold, considering his rent was zero dollars and zero cents, and utilities were included.

Then someone thought to look at the cat, who was lounging in a far corner with what looked like a wry smile, batting around a torn-up baggie.

Meow, bay-bee!

We got a whiff of the Fresh every so often in the basement room for a couple of days, looked all over, drove me crazy knowing it was somewhere in there.
Finally found under couch where she must have left it. Visual match holes in baggie to her canine pattern. Close enough. Busted!