On Monday, Matthew Bruhn ate all the shit.

The 37-year-old Wisconsinite was texting while driving, according to a report from the Grant County Sheriff’s Department, which resulted in the Vengeful Gods of Darwin, smirking from their sadistic clouds above, placing a tractor trailer in front of his car on Highway 151.

Moments later, Bruhn crashed his Ford convertible into the trailer, which spilled gallons of liquid manure into his whip. BTW, the car was an Avis rental.

Bruhn broke his finger in the crash as well as every ounce of pride he had left.