Critics Warn 'GTA VI' Could Inspire Impressionable Teens To Live In Florida

WASHINGTON—In an effort to alert parents to the potentially dangerous consequences of playing the highly anticipated game, critics warned Thursday that Grand Theft Auto VI could inspire impressionable teens to live in Florida.

“This game glamorizes life in Florida to such an outrageous extent that it’s easy to see how young minds could be fooled into thinking that relocating to the Sunshine State wouldn’t be the worst decision they ever made,” said activist Marcie Escobedo, adding that GTA VI irresponsibly fabricates an idealized Florida in which residents aren’t constantly being devoured by mosquitos or don’t have to cower indoors with air conditioning half the year.

“Teens simply aren’t cognitively developed enough to critically evaluate the version of Florida offered by the game, and they assume it’s not going to be a shitty cultural wilderness that’s in large part built around a theme park. By the time it fully sinks in that the Florida of GTA VI is a mirage, that the state is an overpriced amalgamation of the very worst the rest of the country has to offer, it might be too late.”

Escobedo added that even younger children would inevitably end up playing the game and asked parents if they could forgive themselves if their 9-year-old contemplated a move to Jacksonville.

https://theonion.com/critics-warn-gta-vi-could-inspire-impressionable-teens-to-live-in-florida/