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3Hotdogs

(15,421 posts) Fri Apr 17, 2026, 12:27 AM 4 hrs ago

How to say "goodbye?" We were lovers for about 5 years in the 70's and remain close friends.When they moved to Pa from

NJ, I found time to visit her and her husband, at least once a month. About a year ago, she began to decline-speech problems, problems with balance and on and on. Many physician visits with neurologists and so forth got no diagnosis.

This evening she called to say the diagnosis is probably A.L.S. - one of the shittiest ways to die. She mentioned assisted suicide a couple of months ago and brought it up again in this evening's phone call.

If she choses assisted suicide, she will most likely want me there at the time.That will be hard and I hope I have the strength to be there for her.

4 replies

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How to say "goodbye?" We were lovers for about 5 years in the 70's and remain close friends.When they moved to Pa from (Original Post) 3Hotdogs 4 hrs ago OP

I'm sorry Laurelin 4 hrs ago #1

This is so sad for everyone. She must love and respect you to even discuss such a personal decision with you Deuxcents 3 hrs ago #2

Sending her, you and all who care for her warm thoughts. ❤️ MLAA 3 hrs ago #3

There's so much grace that flows through you in the time when love and loss meet lostnfound 1 hr ago #4

Laurelin

(940 posts)

1. I'm sorry

Reply to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Fri Apr 17, 2026, 12:41 AM

4 hrs ago

I have no idea how to cope with this situation. All I can do is send my best hopes to you for strength. I hope you can find some peace.

Deuxcents

(27,227 posts)

2. This is so sad for everyone. She must love and respect you to even discuss such a personal decision with you

Reply to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Fri Apr 17, 2026, 01:15 AM

3 hrs ago

There has been posts about this matter many times and even tho we say or we think we know what we’d do if it were one of us, I don’t think we really know until we’re face to face with the hard decision.i hope if she does ask, you’ll be able to find in you're heart the love and compassion you both can live with, no matter what decisions are made. 🌺

MLAA

(19,771 posts)

3. Sending her, you and all who care for her warm thoughts. ❤️

Reply to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Fri Apr 17, 2026, 01:35 AM

3 hrs ago

lostnfound

(17,541 posts)

4. There's so much grace that flows through you in the time when love and loss meet

Reply to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Fri Apr 17, 2026, 03:41 AM

1 hr ago

i am sorry these things are happening to her and you.
The strength shows up when you need it. In my experience, it is a certain kind of privilege to be there to give love to someone as they leave this life.

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