Trust me, you are not alone in this.

A year ago, I attended an early Thanksgiving meal at my senior center. There were 40-50 seniors, all brilliant, functional, cheerful -- grateful to have the group to share the special holiday meal with.

Why?

As they told me, they (we!) are the cast offs. People no longer valued by our families.

I was shocked & told them I thought I was the only one.

They chuckled kindly, patted my arm & many said, "oh no. That's why we are all here."

Shitbag kids can't be bothered.

Anyway, I am sorry you are in such a tough spot and missing your mister.

The good news is that many of us will likely be on to chat with on Christmas and New Years, just like every other day.

Just like Motel 6, someone always has the light on here.

I hate this time of year because the Hallmark holidays always set us all up for disappointment.

All that said, you could reach out to her & thank her for the card & pix. Maybe she feels a desire to meet you & get to know you!

Money and her baby Jesus.

aka a tRUMPER .

I have nothing in common with her.

I've tried to reach out and when I had a few bucks a number of years ago, I used to send her gifts, etc.

Barely a thank you.



Thank you for you kind words. I guess I'll be here for Xmas as I have nowhere to go *again*.

Eventual demise. That's precsely what I've done & it feels damned good!

Shitbag.

I'll be right here with youon Christmas.

Seriously, who needs this shit?

I do not.

I hope I never do.

I realized the other day that the absence of Mr. CAV is a huge one as the money is simply not there.

It was rather humiliating to have to apply for Medi-Cal.

However, the woman that I met at the office said to me before I left, "Thank you for taking care of yourself." I thought that was incredibly kind.

These are the types of people we need in our lives. The good ones.

I don't know anything about it myself.

I never had nor wanted any myself.

It baffles me, I'll admit it.

Until your issue with her five children. Perhaps your intolerance with her lifestyle is partly to blame? Not your business.

No one bothered to tell me about it so my issue stands!

Christmas can be brutal, especially to those who have experienced losses.

Then more recent the loss, the worse the pain.

I have some details in my own life that are very similar to yours, but I don't post them here. It would take a novel worth of words to explain everything.

I can't even tell people close to me about everything that I am feeling...because it is just too much.

Here's what I would recommend to you:

Love yourself. Above everything else. love yourself, recognize that you are here for a reason.

Recognize that you have touched more lives than you can realize.

Recognize that you have likely saved someone's life during your time here, and you will never even know about it. I can 100% guarantee you that something you did, sometime in your life, saved someone else's life. Something innocuous. Something that by design, you were meant not to know. But...you did it.

Understand that disability is not a dirty word.

Understand that your worth is not based on the perception of ANYONE else. Your worth is based upon the good person that you know you are.

Feel your strength. That pain you are feeling right now? You're handling it. You're not happy about it, but you're handling it. You are venting here. You are sharing your life with the people here. By doing that, you are actually making someone else feel better. You are letting someone else in the same boat as you know that they are not alone.

If you have no one to share the holiday spirit with, share it with YOURSELF. Give yourself that gift for Christmas.

Think of the best times that you shared with your husband. The very best times. Nobody can take those times away from you. They are yours. They belong to you. Think of your departed husband this season, and know that is what he would want you to do.

And with that, know that as an internet stranger, I am proud of you for persevering.

And I repeat...each of us never realize the good we have done in life, because we were meant not to know all the goodness we have sowed.

You're going to be alright. In fact, you are going to thrive.

Your kind words were heard far and wide.

I thank you for them.

My grief is worse than ever now. The negative aspects of my marriage have vanished and all that is left is the good.

I feel alone and wonder why a person that is an aunt to 50 people is in this boat?

My husband came from a family of 10 kids and he sure let people know how he felt about big families. He didn't much care for them given his own rather sad upbringing in Ireland w/no father left.

Thank you again. You are so very right!

"Merry Christmas, thank you for the lovely picture of your children".