General Discussion

Midnight Writer

(25,853 posts) Thu May 21, 2026, 11:20 AM May 21

105

I am afraid I have to confess to a crime.

Last edited Thu May 21, 2026, 01:27 PM - Edit history (1)

I tried hard to hide it, but I have been a great admirer and fan of our President, Donald, J Trump, for decades. Watching him come down his golden escalator promising to fix it all was a rapturous experience for me.

So, naturally, when our President called on all patriots to come to DC to support him, hang Mike Pence, raid Congress, and overturn the results of the election, I was all in.

For years, I have kept silent about this, fearful of the lawfare revenge from Biden and the Dumocrats. But today, inspired by our President's own courage, I have decided to stand up and be counted.

Yes, I did it. I forcibly broke into the Capitol on Jan 6, 2021. While there, I desecrated the halls (and walls) with my own excrement, I kicked a cop repeatedly while my fellow patriots held him down, I stole a laptop from a desk, and I carried a sharp weapon that I intended to use on any Demoncrat that I could get a hold of.

I now realize that I should not have hid my crimes: I should have been proud of them. So today I am "doubling down", confessing my role on Jan 6 and declaring that I will eagerly do it again.

Now how do I get paid?

19 replies

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Highlight:

I am afraid I have to confess to a crime. (Original Post) Midnight Writer May 21 OP

Good one! Walleye May 21 #1

Uh, This Is Too Close to Call, Reallly MineralMan May 21 #2

Ummm - you seem to have recognized it. Just sayin. ihaveaquestion May 21 #8

not much left. the pillow guy has applied for 30 million already. rampartd May 21 #3

I heard the pillow guy wants 400 million.... Sogo May 21 #16

You will first have to give back perfessor May 21 #4

Sounds like one of those typical MAGA/Antifa flip floppers to me. Marie Marie May 21 #15

I think you deserve millions$ for all the mental anguish which you had to endure for years in OGBuzz May 21 #5

Was needing to make number 2 when you were rioting Frasier Balzov May 21 #6

No, I have always been naturally full of shit. Even as an infant. Midnight Writer May 21 #10

You and Stephen of the Colbert Report. Bumbles May 21 #7

... orangecrush May 21 #9

I'm glad you were fighting for Al Gore, seeing that GW McIdiot's (R) congress was seated on Jan 6, 2001. n/t aggiesal May 21 #11

We should all make applications for payouts... ihaveaquestion May 21 #12

Same. SSJVegeta May 21 #13

"...how do I get paid?" LudwigPastorius May 21 #14

You should be paid in about two weeks. Harker May 22 #17

Great! I was afraid I was going to have to wait a long time like I did for my Trumpphone. Midnight Writer May 22 #18

Hey pal, True Dough May 23 #19

Walleye

(45,593 posts)

1. Good one!

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 11:24 AM

May 21

MineralMan

(151,681 posts)

2. Uh, This Is Too Close to Call, Reallly

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 11:26 AM

May 21

I think you need to make the satirical nature of it a little more obvious. Just saying.

ihaveaquestion

(4,834 posts)

8. Ummm - you seem to have recognized it. Just sayin.

Reply to MineralMan (Reply #2)

Thu May 21, 2026, 12:29 PM

May 21

rampartd

(5,198 posts)

3. not much left. the pillow guy has applied for 30 million already.

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 11:26 AM

May 21

Sogo

(7,327 posts)

16. I heard the pillow guy wants 400 million....

Reply to rampartd (Reply #3)

Thu May 21, 2026, 02:12 PM

May 21

nt.

perfessor

(396 posts)

4. You will first have to give back

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 11:35 AM

May 21

… all the Soros money you’ve been getting as a paid member of DU. No double dipping!

Marie Marie

(11,578 posts)

15. Sounds like one of those typical MAGA/Antifa flip floppers to me.

Reply to perfessor (Reply #4)

Thu May 21, 2026, 02:06 PM

May 21

Antifa for the Soros bucks and MAGA for the Trump criminal cash. Just raking it all in...

OGBuzz

(727 posts)

5. I think you deserve millions$ for all the mental anguish which you had to endure for years in

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 11:37 AM

May 21

keeping this from the evil Biden regime. Only Trump could fix it and he did!

Frasier Balzov

(5,118 posts)

6. Was needing to make number 2 when you were rioting

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 12:05 PM

May 21

just a happy coincidence?

Midnight Writer

(25,853 posts)

10. No, I have always been naturally full of shit. Even as an infant.

Reply to Frasier Balzov (Reply #6)

Thu May 21, 2026, 12:43 PM

May 21

Frankly, in all the excitement, I could not swear that I was using my own excrement. But I figure there may be some bonus bucks in it for me so I'll give it a whirl.

Bumbles

(524 posts)

7. You and Stephen of the Colbert Report.

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 12:07 PM

May 21

It's hard to lead such a duplicitous life, maintain your integrity and focus on your presentation. Kudos for coming forward. You deserve every bit you get.

orangecrush

(31,299 posts)

9. ...

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 12:36 PM

May 21

aggiesal

(10,942 posts)

11. I'm glad you were fighting for Al Gore, seeing that GW McIdiot's (R) congress was seated on Jan 6, 2001. n/t

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 01:09 PM

May 21

ihaveaquestion

(4,834 posts)

12. We should all make applications for payouts...

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 01:11 PM

May 21

We HAVE been harmed after all - traumatized by the Orange Shitbird. They may have to respond to each one and maybe some of us will get something. We could also pledge to give the money to support democratic causes or institutions (if possible).

Wha'cha think?

SSJVegeta

(3,232 posts)

13. Same.

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 01:18 PM

May 21

LudwigPastorius

(15,081 posts)

14. "...how do I get paid?"

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Thu May 21, 2026, 01:28 PM

May 21

Funny, but Trump considers the insurrectionists' pardons as payment in full.

The Slush Fund money is for him and his family members only.

Harker

(18,212 posts)

17. You should be paid in about two weeks.

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Fri May 22, 2026, 11:09 AM

May 22

Midnight Writer

(25,853 posts)

18. Great! I was afraid I was going to have to wait a long time like I did for my Trumpphone.

Reply to Harker (Reply #17)

Fri May 22, 2026, 10:54 PM

May 22

True Dough

(27,423 posts)

19. Hey pal,

Reply to Midnight Writer (Original post)

Sat May 23, 2026, 08:31 AM

May 23

you might be a "loyal" foot soldier, but you are not part of the distinguished billionaire class, so your payment will come in the form of these:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

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